that we would all be jolly. all of the time.
that we could eat as many holiday cookies as we wanted and we would never feel bad about it, or bloated.
that we would be able to open a present for each of the 12 days before christmas and still have lots left over for christmas day!
that everyone would put lights up on their houses so it would be more festive for those driving by.
that we would read a new christmas story every night in the month of december.
that we would pray for those whose holidays are not quite as bright and perhaps even lonely.
that we would anticipate christmas as a child, even when we are grown.
that the true meaning of christmas would not be forgotten, and would even be celebrated by all!
that we would all make homemade gifts and buy locally instead of giving in to our society's push to buy, buy, buy. bigger, better, more. never enough. sad.
that everyone would be with someone they love on christmas, that no one would be alone, hungry, in need, hurt or in danger.
that we would give to those in need. not just during the holidays, but all year long.
that every family would keep family traditions alive from one generation to the next. old family recipes made, songs sung, and memories of the past shared.
that the Son of God who came into the world that night, the one for which we celebrate this season, would be ever praised now and forevermore.
this is my grown up christmas list.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
A Sad Week
this has been a very busy week. a bizarre week, a crazy week. a very emotional week.
this last week i had had hopes of finishing up some craft projects in time for christmas. maybe make some cookies, and then eat some, not all, but some of them. just enough to know that i had really enjoyed them.
i had planned on getting together with a new friend so our girls could play together and i had planned on a few other outings as well. none of which happened.
last weekend we got news that my father in law was in the hospital. icu. he had kidney failure. if he hadn't been admitted that night they said he wouldn't have made it. that news in itself is more than alarming. my husband drove down that night and then we came a few days later to stay for the week.
he is doing much better and is supposed to be back home as of today.
he had wonderful children and loving friends and family that were by his side literally night and day. i pray that those i love, and hopefully love me too will be that faithful to me in my time of need.
it was a very emotional time to say the least.
my grandma recently found out that she has cancer, in every organ of her body. how do you deal with something like that? she is a wonderful and very special grandma. and she has been dealing with it quite remarkably.
we saw her a weekend or so ago and although she was on heavy pain meds she sat up and said, "so what's up kids?" it was the sweetest and cutest thing ever. that she would be in that much pain, but able to act like she wasn't and to care enough to ask us how WE are doing! wow. that is precious.
we were there for awhile, i don't actually know how long. but i know it became too long for her because her eyes were closed most of the time, she spoke very slowly and although she was very "with it" there were times when she said things that didn't make any sense. i wanted to be there for her and have time with her because i felt like it was our time to say goodbye. it would've been easy to pretend like everything was okay and that we would see each other again. but i knew we might not. i tried to keep it in, but i cried a lot and was hoping she didn't notice. but she did. i think it was better that she saw me cry because i really felt like that was my love that i was giving to her. i guess through my tears.
my four year old danced for her. to their favorite song, "girls just want to have fun!" it was sweet. we read her a kid's christmas story too. she is almost blind so she can't see pictures or anything, but she could hear the words. they told the christmas story in simple words through the eyes of different characters. i think when you are older and can't see and you can't live with your husband anymore because he has alztiemer's, you appreciate simple things. like touch and sound.
my dad and his brother are with her now. it is most likely her last days. it is very sad. definitely not the kind of thing you want to have to deal with during the holidays. christmas is about family and fun and time together. no one should have to lose a loved one during the holidays. it just doesn't seem right. but then again, it doesn't seem right that anyone should have to lose a loved one EVER! don't you think?
death is not a thing that we deal with well. i mean, we can watch it on t.v. every night and in movies, and it's no big deal. it's so not real. it doesn't really affect us because we know it's not real. maybe that's why we have such a hard time dealing with it in real life. because we can't possibly believe that it is real. that it is actually going to happen or that it has happened.
but there is a purpose in death. of course. there is a purpose in life. there is a purpose for all things and in all things.
God had a plan at the beginning and He still has a plan. and it DOES make sense. just not always to us.
Christ came into the world that we would have life. yes, we would all still have to die a physical death, but not a spiritual. we will all leave this world we call home someday. hopefully when we are all old and gray. but after leaving this place we don't just sit in the ground for eternity. we do go somewhere. whether it is up or down or east or west or here or there or...is not the point. there is a heaven, and it will be more amazing and unbelievable than you or i or anyone can every comprehend. there is also a hell, and it will be more unbelievably terrible than we can ever show in pictures. a pitch fork will never do it justice. it is complete separation from God. and that is as terrible as it gets folks.
there are two destinations...yes, only two. but the cool thing is that you get to choose where you'd like to go:)
i realized i went off on a little tangent..but a good one:)
we have also received news of a few friends who are dealing with illnesses and hospitalization during this time.
then to add to it, we all got sick. just a cold, but still. as if we weren't already feeling terrible! it just added to it.
my heart goes out to those who are suffering. people all around the world are suffering every day. and yet we don't really focus on it or think about it because it doesn't affect us. the moment it affects us, or something happens to us then we take notice.
despite sadness, that which i try to avoid. i am thankful for a wonderful childhood where i had three sets of grandparents! one grandma who lived in the same town as me and babysat my sister and i many times after school. she taught us how to do really difficult puzzles, card games, and she always colored with us, played games and talked. i remember one of the cars she had, she would play this old music and my sister and i would sing along to it with her. she had this room in one of her houses that was huge. it had a piano and some chairs and a table, but mainly i just remember it being really big and i would play in there. she also let me dress up in her old nightgowns and all of her shoes. she always had the coolest boots to try on.
i am thankful that i was able to have so much time with her. i am sad that it won't be longer and that my girls won't have as much time with her. but they have made their memories too. so they have special moments too.
i know it is her time and she is in pain. she is ready to go home. she has said that she just wants to go home to be with Jesus. and my dad says that is all he needs to hear. i don't want her to be in pain anymore. but it is sad to know she will be gone from us soon.
there are things that we cannot do alone. there are things that we cannot go through alone. and the illness or death of a loved one is one of those. we need love and encouragement from others and we need strength from God.
so whatever has happened to you this last week or will happen this coming week know that whether it is a matter or life of death your Maker holds you in His hands.
this last week i had had hopes of finishing up some craft projects in time for christmas. maybe make some cookies, and then eat some, not all, but some of them. just enough to know that i had really enjoyed them.
i had planned on getting together with a new friend so our girls could play together and i had planned on a few other outings as well. none of which happened.
last weekend we got news that my father in law was in the hospital. icu. he had kidney failure. if he hadn't been admitted that night they said he wouldn't have made it. that news in itself is more than alarming. my husband drove down that night and then we came a few days later to stay for the week.
he is doing much better and is supposed to be back home as of today.
he had wonderful children and loving friends and family that were by his side literally night and day. i pray that those i love, and hopefully love me too will be that faithful to me in my time of need.
it was a very emotional time to say the least.
my grandma recently found out that she has cancer, in every organ of her body. how do you deal with something like that? she is a wonderful and very special grandma. and she has been dealing with it quite remarkably.
we saw her a weekend or so ago and although she was on heavy pain meds she sat up and said, "so what's up kids?" it was the sweetest and cutest thing ever. that she would be in that much pain, but able to act like she wasn't and to care enough to ask us how WE are doing! wow. that is precious.
we were there for awhile, i don't actually know how long. but i know it became too long for her because her eyes were closed most of the time, she spoke very slowly and although she was very "with it" there were times when she said things that didn't make any sense. i wanted to be there for her and have time with her because i felt like it was our time to say goodbye. it would've been easy to pretend like everything was okay and that we would see each other again. but i knew we might not. i tried to keep it in, but i cried a lot and was hoping she didn't notice. but she did. i think it was better that she saw me cry because i really felt like that was my love that i was giving to her. i guess through my tears.
my four year old danced for her. to their favorite song, "girls just want to have fun!" it was sweet. we read her a kid's christmas story too. she is almost blind so she can't see pictures or anything, but she could hear the words. they told the christmas story in simple words through the eyes of different characters. i think when you are older and can't see and you can't live with your husband anymore because he has alztiemer's, you appreciate simple things. like touch and sound.
my dad and his brother are with her now. it is most likely her last days. it is very sad. definitely not the kind of thing you want to have to deal with during the holidays. christmas is about family and fun and time together. no one should have to lose a loved one during the holidays. it just doesn't seem right. but then again, it doesn't seem right that anyone should have to lose a loved one EVER! don't you think?
death is not a thing that we deal with well. i mean, we can watch it on t.v. every night and in movies, and it's no big deal. it's so not real. it doesn't really affect us because we know it's not real. maybe that's why we have such a hard time dealing with it in real life. because we can't possibly believe that it is real. that it is actually going to happen or that it has happened.
but there is a purpose in death. of course. there is a purpose in life. there is a purpose for all things and in all things.
God had a plan at the beginning and He still has a plan. and it DOES make sense. just not always to us.
Christ came into the world that we would have life. yes, we would all still have to die a physical death, but not a spiritual. we will all leave this world we call home someday. hopefully when we are all old and gray. but after leaving this place we don't just sit in the ground for eternity. we do go somewhere. whether it is up or down or east or west or here or there or...is not the point. there is a heaven, and it will be more amazing and unbelievable than you or i or anyone can every comprehend. there is also a hell, and it will be more unbelievably terrible than we can ever show in pictures. a pitch fork will never do it justice. it is complete separation from God. and that is as terrible as it gets folks.
there are two destinations...yes, only two. but the cool thing is that you get to choose where you'd like to go:)
i realized i went off on a little tangent..but a good one:)
we have also received news of a few friends who are dealing with illnesses and hospitalization during this time.
then to add to it, we all got sick. just a cold, but still. as if we weren't already feeling terrible! it just added to it.
my heart goes out to those who are suffering. people all around the world are suffering every day. and yet we don't really focus on it or think about it because it doesn't affect us. the moment it affects us, or something happens to us then we take notice.
despite sadness, that which i try to avoid. i am thankful for a wonderful childhood where i had three sets of grandparents! one grandma who lived in the same town as me and babysat my sister and i many times after school. she taught us how to do really difficult puzzles, card games, and she always colored with us, played games and talked. i remember one of the cars she had, she would play this old music and my sister and i would sing along to it with her. she had this room in one of her houses that was huge. it had a piano and some chairs and a table, but mainly i just remember it being really big and i would play in there. she also let me dress up in her old nightgowns and all of her shoes. she always had the coolest boots to try on.
i am thankful that i was able to have so much time with her. i am sad that it won't be longer and that my girls won't have as much time with her. but they have made their memories too. so they have special moments too.
i know it is her time and she is in pain. she is ready to go home. she has said that she just wants to go home to be with Jesus. and my dad says that is all he needs to hear. i don't want her to be in pain anymore. but it is sad to know she will be gone from us soon.
there are things that we cannot do alone. there are things that we cannot go through alone. and the illness or death of a loved one is one of those. we need love and encouragement from others and we need strength from God.
so whatever has happened to you this last week or will happen this coming week know that whether it is a matter or life of death your Maker holds you in His hands.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
an attempt
so...i am going to attempt. and when i say "attempt" that is exactly what i mean...attempt. you know when you say a word over and over and then it just sounds weird.? and then you wonder if you spelled it correctly or even said it correctly? well, i think i said it too many times. because that is what just happened. so...no promises. just "attempts" here. uh. said it again. anyway! i was thinking that i would try to blog more often. hmm, what a novel idea. create a blog and then actually write a post now and then. priceless.
so here is my post for today and hopefully i will write another one before the month is over:)
today i enjoyed some local shopping. and i must say, it was delightful. seriously. i am all about supporting local shops and small business owners. i think it is great. however, if it is too pricey or i can find the same exact thing somewhere else for a better deal, well then...you don't got my business ya'll. maybe because i'm too frugal, or maybe because i'm too poor, or maybe both:) some places i suppose i will have to leave to the tourists.
i found a few cute things for gifts and a new shop that i was pleasantly surprised to find. and it was not overpriced. that was a shocker, because i was completely thinking it was going to be. what a gem. i will go there again for unique finds and friendly small town service.
there is a lot on my mind right now. thinking about the next place we will be going and all that goes along with that. new people, new places, new life...again. but for now we are "here" for several months. so this is our life right now. and then it will be "there." oh, and then it will be another place. seriously when does all of this change end?! at least we have a path, it isn't completely uncertain. we know where we are now:) and where we will be later. it's just after that. we have somewhat of a say, but it is not completely up to us. the Lord will station us where He wants us:) and we will go. i realize i am being somewhat vague...and that is what i will be for now regarding where and when and who and what and how and why:)
it is exciting. but scary. an adventure. always an adventure. at least we aren't bored:)
i have been a real "planner" today. i have been planning up the yiang yang today! it is great and yet it can be overwhelming. i think it happened while i was out today. i just started to get all of these ideas about lots of different things. wow, too much fun for me. "out on the town" and i just go crazy:) somebody stop me:)
for what it's worth...that's my "attempt" for the day.
so here is my post for today and hopefully i will write another one before the month is over:)
today i enjoyed some local shopping. and i must say, it was delightful. seriously. i am all about supporting local shops and small business owners. i think it is great. however, if it is too pricey or i can find the same exact thing somewhere else for a better deal, well then...you don't got my business ya'll. maybe because i'm too frugal, or maybe because i'm too poor, or maybe both:) some places i suppose i will have to leave to the tourists.
i found a few cute things for gifts and a new shop that i was pleasantly surprised to find. and it was not overpriced. that was a shocker, because i was completely thinking it was going to be. what a gem. i will go there again for unique finds and friendly small town service.
there is a lot on my mind right now. thinking about the next place we will be going and all that goes along with that. new people, new places, new life...again. but for now we are "here" for several months. so this is our life right now. and then it will be "there." oh, and then it will be another place. seriously when does all of this change end?! at least we have a path, it isn't completely uncertain. we know where we are now:) and where we will be later. it's just after that. we have somewhat of a say, but it is not completely up to us. the Lord will station us where He wants us:) and we will go. i realize i am being somewhat vague...and that is what i will be for now regarding where and when and who and what and how and why:)
it is exciting. but scary. an adventure. always an adventure. at least we aren't bored:)
i have been a real "planner" today. i have been planning up the yiang yang today! it is great and yet it can be overwhelming. i think it happened while i was out today. i just started to get all of these ideas about lots of different things. wow, too much fun for me. "out on the town" and i just go crazy:) somebody stop me:)
for what it's worth...that's my "attempt" for the day.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
as life goes...
well, here i am again. right on time. approximately a month after my last post:) it seems that is how it goes for me. good thing i don't have a lot of followers to disappoint:) good thing i mainly just write for myself. whenever i get the writing "bug." which apparently is not that often. most of my daily blog (that goes on in my head) never makes it to paper (or computer.) there is too little time and too much to say.
well since the last time i blogged much has happened.
my husband was laid off. second time. obviously not the same job. although we knew this one was coming because it was only a contracted job. it just came sooner than we expected. we are with family until the next thing happens. it will most likely be several months until the "next thing" comes to pass. we are excited though. just tired of waiting. but the waiting will continue...
the girls have a new home...again. but they are used to it. as are we. we are movers. we are very blessed to have family to take us in for the time being. we've done it before, we're doing it again, but i do hope this is the last. we love our family, and they love us. but i think everyone should have their own home:)
mainly because i am tired of the moving here and there and everywhere and all of the change. although there is definitely more change around the corner, i am looking forward to the time when we will be back on our own and moving along on the road of life.
i must remember that we are still living life right now though. even though it is an in between time, it is still life. things can and do happen and we must make the best of them. it is just hard when things aren't the way they have been or the way you've expected them to be. but when is that? pretty much never. at least not in my life. and that is okay. i'm glad that life doesn't go the way i want it to. wait, did i just say that? i think i mean that. yah, i think i do. life has been terribly interesting and such an adventure. it probably would have been a total bore if i were in charge of it:) or at least it would be predictable. which isn't bad, but maybe it's not good either. i am just rambling.
it's freezing outside right now. not that i'm outside or anything and not that i know the actual temperature. but it looks freezing...so i am assuming it is. i think it is supposed to snow here sometime in the next few days. maybe even tonight. burrr.
life "here" is different. by "here" i mean the place where we are living right now, the place i grew up.
it is totally different from where we've been. although this is our second time moving here, so we know something about it. plus, since i grew up here i know a lot about it. i just have to be reaquainted with the little place.
my husband loves it here, which i think is funny because he has lived in the city his whole life. my girls love it here too. mimi especially loves it because she can run all over and pick up (and keep) any old rock or leaf or stick that suits her fancy. she used to to that when we lived in the bay area and i used to tell her, "honey, you can't keep that rock. it belongs to that house. people paid money for those rocks." you don't think about that kind of stuff "here." you just pick up a "treasure" and put it in your pocket. no one cares that you took a rock from their front yard, because it probably hasn't been placed in a "special" spot. ie., "landscaped." no one really cares if you play on their property either. unless there is a sign. in which case you might want to obey unless you feel like seeing a gun.
call me "country" but one of my favorite things about being "here" is that you can throw something outside. like an apple core. or the crackers and cheerios that have accumulated on the floor of your car. you know, you can just toss them out. and no one will care. animals will eat them up. the neighbors won't care nor will they know because your property is yours and you don't share a parking stall or side fence or sidewalk with them.
oh, another change...i forgot. i cut my hair off. "yippee." i know. terribly exciting:) my family, ie., or any one i know has had to hear of the "drama" perhaps many more times than they would have liked to. it is growing far too slowly. and i am not very fond of it. it looked great the first day my stylist did it. and that was pretty much it. it is a cute hair cut and hip of course:) i just don't think it is "me." i can put it back in a very and i mean VERY small pony tail. i am totally a pony tail kind of girl. so once it can go back in one, you most likely will never see me with my hair down again. cute, easy and quick is the only way to go.
okay, enough of the hair saga.
i have been on a no sugar fast for almost 21 days...just about six or so to go. it has been hard and miserable but luckily it is almost over.
i am trying to tame my sweet tooth. it is a nasty little habit and it has been hard to stop. i am hoping that i will have more self control in this area when it is all over. i have learned some things...really. i promise. i just really can't wait to get my hands on some serious chocolate. oooo, and a cupcake:)
on a cold and gloomy day like today i am thankful for a cup of hot tea, a cozy leopard print robe and nap time for kiddos which = free time for mama.
okay, gotta go...free time nearly over.
well since the last time i blogged much has happened.
my husband was laid off. second time. obviously not the same job. although we knew this one was coming because it was only a contracted job. it just came sooner than we expected. we are with family until the next thing happens. it will most likely be several months until the "next thing" comes to pass. we are excited though. just tired of waiting. but the waiting will continue...
the girls have a new home...again. but they are used to it. as are we. we are movers. we are very blessed to have family to take us in for the time being. we've done it before, we're doing it again, but i do hope this is the last. we love our family, and they love us. but i think everyone should have their own home:)
mainly because i am tired of the moving here and there and everywhere and all of the change. although there is definitely more change around the corner, i am looking forward to the time when we will be back on our own and moving along on the road of life.
i must remember that we are still living life right now though. even though it is an in between time, it is still life. things can and do happen and we must make the best of them. it is just hard when things aren't the way they have been or the way you've expected them to be. but when is that? pretty much never. at least not in my life. and that is okay. i'm glad that life doesn't go the way i want it to. wait, did i just say that? i think i mean that. yah, i think i do. life has been terribly interesting and such an adventure. it probably would have been a total bore if i were in charge of it:) or at least it would be predictable. which isn't bad, but maybe it's not good either. i am just rambling.
it's freezing outside right now. not that i'm outside or anything and not that i know the actual temperature. but it looks freezing...so i am assuming it is. i think it is supposed to snow here sometime in the next few days. maybe even tonight. burrr.
life "here" is different. by "here" i mean the place where we are living right now, the place i grew up.
it is totally different from where we've been. although this is our second time moving here, so we know something about it. plus, since i grew up here i know a lot about it. i just have to be reaquainted with the little place.
my husband loves it here, which i think is funny because he has lived in the city his whole life. my girls love it here too. mimi especially loves it because she can run all over and pick up (and keep) any old rock or leaf or stick that suits her fancy. she used to to that when we lived in the bay area and i used to tell her, "honey, you can't keep that rock. it belongs to that house. people paid money for those rocks." you don't think about that kind of stuff "here." you just pick up a "treasure" and put it in your pocket. no one cares that you took a rock from their front yard, because it probably hasn't been placed in a "special" spot. ie., "landscaped." no one really cares if you play on their property either. unless there is a sign. in which case you might want to obey unless you feel like seeing a gun.
call me "country" but one of my favorite things about being "here" is that you can throw something outside. like an apple core. or the crackers and cheerios that have accumulated on the floor of your car. you know, you can just toss them out. and no one will care. animals will eat them up. the neighbors won't care nor will they know because your property is yours and you don't share a parking stall or side fence or sidewalk with them.
oh, another change...i forgot. i cut my hair off. "yippee." i know. terribly exciting:) my family, ie., or any one i know has had to hear of the "drama" perhaps many more times than they would have liked to. it is growing far too slowly. and i am not very fond of it. it looked great the first day my stylist did it. and that was pretty much it. it is a cute hair cut and hip of course:) i just don't think it is "me." i can put it back in a very and i mean VERY small pony tail. i am totally a pony tail kind of girl. so once it can go back in one, you most likely will never see me with my hair down again. cute, easy and quick is the only way to go.
okay, enough of the hair saga.
i have been on a no sugar fast for almost 21 days...just about six or so to go. it has been hard and miserable but luckily it is almost over.
i am trying to tame my sweet tooth. it is a nasty little habit and it has been hard to stop. i am hoping that i will have more self control in this area when it is all over. i have learned some things...really. i promise. i just really can't wait to get my hands on some serious chocolate. oooo, and a cupcake:)
on a cold and gloomy day like today i am thankful for a cup of hot tea, a cozy leopard print robe and nap time for kiddos which = free time for mama.
okay, gotta go...free time nearly over.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Not Quite Sure....
not quite sure where this entry will go, so brace yourselves:)
the shower is where i do some of my best thinking. too bad i don't get enough showers:)
but really, when i'm in there i instantly begin to think. it is a place where i am (briefly) alone. it is where i write most of my blog entries...although i usually never post them because it is awfully difficult to bring the lab top into the shower with me:) but i suppose it could be done.
it is also where i try to plan out my day. not that my day seems to go the way i plan it. but at least i am trying, right?
i want to be ready to get out of the house by 9am, which is really hard for us at this stage of life. just when i think i am on a roll and we are going to be ready just in time. just when i think everything is nicely planned out. everyone is doing what they should and we are all "happy." sometimes that just means that no one is screaming. sometimes that is what happy means in the morning or any time in the day for that matter.
anyway. just when i think all is well. something goes wrong. someone wakes up in an awfully terrible mood. someone needs to be held, someone needs to be changed or go to the bathroom...again. someone is having a raging fit, about toast for breakfast.
days planned out perfectly and lives planned out perfectly do not exist.
perhaps there was a time when they did. or when you thought they did. and you thought, "wow this is great. my life is going right in the direction i had planned." or "each day i wake up to sunshine and very well behaved children. i am pampered and adored and treated like a princess." okay maybe not the latter. i just thought it sounded lovely.
your day and mine goes the way that God wants it to. your life and mine go the way that God wants it to. doesn't sound good sometimes, but that's the way it is folks. and trust me i am including myself in this "folks."
my life, mainly in the last 7 or 8 years has taken MANY twists and MANY turns. "hey wait! where is this thing going?" "where the hell are you taking me? " "um, i'd like to get off now." "i'm afraid i was looking for something else. this can't POSSIBLY be MY life."
it was not fun many times. many times it was fun. and many times we were/are blindly walking into the great unknown. again, "um, where is it that you are taking us God?"
of course life is a process. no one has "arrived." and if they have then we would rather not know them. it is much better to go through life with those who have been where we have. who have gone though exactly what we have experienced. that seems to be one of the ways that we can truly connect with others. tragedy and despair, pain and foolishness. we have all been through something. somethings we have foolishly brought upon ourselves and now we must suffer the consequences. other things have happened to us and we are merely bystanders. either way, we have all, "been there."
through this experiences, good or bad, we can meet people where they are. we can come alongside someone else in pain. someone else who is hurting, someone else who has suffered a loss. what an encouragement we are. empathy for others is what brings us together. it is where one soul touches another. we both leave changed for the better.
so back to my very "interesting" life:)
AGAIN, we are facing another change. it is not for positive yet, but it is as close to positive as you can get.
somehow, someway, i am looking forward to it. i stated in an email to a friend recently that God has had to do MAJOR things in me because i am able to say, "whatever." "bring it on." "we will go!" yep. that is a complete miracle in itself. it's not that i'm not scared, because i am! but i just not as scared as i used to be:) i suppose if that is the only thing i learn in my life then i will be just fine. actually, i'd like to learn to knit someday too:) no. not really,, knitting does not sound like fun to me. i just had to throw that bit of humor in there, for myself i suppose.
learning to say,"whatever" God. "i will do what you have chosen for me to do." that is called submitting, my friends. i never thought that i was quite the "submitting" type, but apparently i am learning:)
not that i have arrived, because then no one would want to be my friend:)
but that i am working on it. and God is working through me. hopefully someday i will be able to use this experience of walking into the unknown for His glory.
hopefully i will be able to be an "empathizer." i am pretty sure that isn't a word.
so wherever we will be in the coming months, whatever we will be doing, wherever we will be living...we will do it without hesitation. because that is what God has prepared. that is the way He has shown us and the way in which we will go. basically walking in faith. scary, but pretty much necessary.
i always try to plan things and prepare and anticipate a move or change in life. i want to start packing up as soon as possible, getting rid of stuff and looking for a new place. checking out the area we will go and the neighborhoods. sometimes it is possible for me to do this. and sometimes it is not. sometimes like i said, i must walk in faith and sometimes wait until the last minute. definitely not the way i would do it:)
so here's to the unknown! here's to a life of walking in faith! here's to the future which we will believe is bright and wonderful and exactly what God has prepared for us. whether it is "bright" or "wonderful" we can't always say. but what we do know is this. God is FOR us. God LOVES us. HIS plans for us are not to harm us, but to PROSPER us. how can we argue with that? we are safe in HIS hands, in HIS arms, in HIS care. Did I mention HE created the world? oh, and us! i'm pretty sure He is able to take care of pretty much anything:)
so, i wasn't quite sure where i was going with this post. but i suppose i ended up, "somewhere." i think it was a good, "somewhere" because it encouraged me! i guess that's a good thing. there are things that the mind knows that are difficult for the heart to accept. so, i know some things. at least i think i do. but they must become heart knowledge, not just head knowledge. and that is tough.
recap: walk in faith, with God you will often walk into the unknown. that means you have NO clue where the hell you are or are going:)
your life is in His hands, He loves you, be an "empathizer." oh, and if you are like me, make sure you take lots of showers:)
the shower is where i do some of my best thinking. too bad i don't get enough showers:)
but really, when i'm in there i instantly begin to think. it is a place where i am (briefly) alone. it is where i write most of my blog entries...although i usually never post them because it is awfully difficult to bring the lab top into the shower with me:) but i suppose it could be done.
it is also where i try to plan out my day. not that my day seems to go the way i plan it. but at least i am trying, right?
i want to be ready to get out of the house by 9am, which is really hard for us at this stage of life. just when i think i am on a roll and we are going to be ready just in time. just when i think everything is nicely planned out. everyone is doing what they should and we are all "happy." sometimes that just means that no one is screaming. sometimes that is what happy means in the morning or any time in the day for that matter.
anyway. just when i think all is well. something goes wrong. someone wakes up in an awfully terrible mood. someone needs to be held, someone needs to be changed or go to the bathroom...again. someone is having a raging fit, about toast for breakfast.
days planned out perfectly and lives planned out perfectly do not exist.
perhaps there was a time when they did. or when you thought they did. and you thought, "wow this is great. my life is going right in the direction i had planned." or "each day i wake up to sunshine and very well behaved children. i am pampered and adored and treated like a princess." okay maybe not the latter. i just thought it sounded lovely.
your day and mine goes the way that God wants it to. your life and mine go the way that God wants it to. doesn't sound good sometimes, but that's the way it is folks. and trust me i am including myself in this "folks."
my life, mainly in the last 7 or 8 years has taken MANY twists and MANY turns. "hey wait! where is this thing going?" "where the hell are you taking me? " "um, i'd like to get off now." "i'm afraid i was looking for something else. this can't POSSIBLY be MY life."
it was not fun many times. many times it was fun. and many times we were/are blindly walking into the great unknown. again, "um, where is it that you are taking us God?"
of course life is a process. no one has "arrived." and if they have then we would rather not know them. it is much better to go through life with those who have been where we have. who have gone though exactly what we have experienced. that seems to be one of the ways that we can truly connect with others. tragedy and despair, pain and foolishness. we have all been through something. somethings we have foolishly brought upon ourselves and now we must suffer the consequences. other things have happened to us and we are merely bystanders. either way, we have all, "been there."
through this experiences, good or bad, we can meet people where they are. we can come alongside someone else in pain. someone else who is hurting, someone else who has suffered a loss. what an encouragement we are. empathy for others is what brings us together. it is where one soul touches another. we both leave changed for the better.
so back to my very "interesting" life:)
AGAIN, we are facing another change. it is not for positive yet, but it is as close to positive as you can get.
somehow, someway, i am looking forward to it. i stated in an email to a friend recently that God has had to do MAJOR things in me because i am able to say, "whatever." "bring it on." "we will go!" yep. that is a complete miracle in itself. it's not that i'm not scared, because i am! but i just not as scared as i used to be:) i suppose if that is the only thing i learn in my life then i will be just fine. actually, i'd like to learn to knit someday too:) no. not really,, knitting does not sound like fun to me. i just had to throw that bit of humor in there, for myself i suppose.
learning to say,"whatever" God. "i will do what you have chosen for me to do." that is called submitting, my friends. i never thought that i was quite the "submitting" type, but apparently i am learning:)
not that i have arrived, because then no one would want to be my friend:)
but that i am working on it. and God is working through me. hopefully someday i will be able to use this experience of walking into the unknown for His glory.
hopefully i will be able to be an "empathizer." i am pretty sure that isn't a word.
so wherever we will be in the coming months, whatever we will be doing, wherever we will be living...we will do it without hesitation. because that is what God has prepared. that is the way He has shown us and the way in which we will go. basically walking in faith. scary, but pretty much necessary.
i always try to plan things and prepare and anticipate a move or change in life. i want to start packing up as soon as possible, getting rid of stuff and looking for a new place. checking out the area we will go and the neighborhoods. sometimes it is possible for me to do this. and sometimes it is not. sometimes like i said, i must walk in faith and sometimes wait until the last minute. definitely not the way i would do it:)
so here's to the unknown! here's to a life of walking in faith! here's to the future which we will believe is bright and wonderful and exactly what God has prepared for us. whether it is "bright" or "wonderful" we can't always say. but what we do know is this. God is FOR us. God LOVES us. HIS plans for us are not to harm us, but to PROSPER us. how can we argue with that? we are safe in HIS hands, in HIS arms, in HIS care. Did I mention HE created the world? oh, and us! i'm pretty sure He is able to take care of pretty much anything:)
so, i wasn't quite sure where i was going with this post. but i suppose i ended up, "somewhere." i think it was a good, "somewhere" because it encouraged me! i guess that's a good thing. there are things that the mind knows that are difficult for the heart to accept. so, i know some things. at least i think i do. but they must become heart knowledge, not just head knowledge. and that is tough.
recap: walk in faith, with God you will often walk into the unknown. that means you have NO clue where the hell you are or are going:)
your life is in His hands, He loves you, be an "empathizer." oh, and if you are like me, make sure you take lots of showers:)
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Sick As a Frickin' Dog
what does that phrase even mean? i suppose it means that when a dog is sick then it is REALLY sick. but i wouldn't know that sort of thing since i don't have a dog. i used to have a dog, when i was a child. actually i had several...usually all at different times. i think i even had a goat. but that would take this entry to another level, so i will stop there.
anyway, growing up in the country i noticed that having a dog in the country is different than having one in "civilization." i mean, the city:) from my perspective, dogs that "grow up" in the city are part of the family. they live inside, have a special doggie bed. or even a special room, just for them. maybe they poop and pee in a special doggie toliet..perhaps i have gone to far. perhaps not. perhaps they wear adorable little outfits (gag reflex) or maybe they go to the "dainty doggie diner" , or the "bit o' biscuit bakery." at the least they go to the "pretty puppy palace." where they are groomed and treated as if they were at a day spa. but seriously, don't take me too seriously... because i really have no clue as to what i am talking about. okay, so i do. but i may be slightly of course:)
anyway. dogs in the country are more like dogs rather than people. i think they are less like family. more like "man's best friend." out to protect the household. scavenging the creatures that try to occupy the yard. the companion that goes hiking or camping or hunting or... maybe they sleep inside but they do not have their own room. they probably have a special blanket that someone left on the floor and never picked up but they most likely do not have a bed of their own. they do not go to the doggie bakery, or the doggie day spa or the doggie diner. they DO NOT have a doggie toliet. they pee and poo outside. they eat whatever they find, inside and out. they eat dog food too, but that is never as good as the rodents they find.
their only bath is when they jump in the river or your neighbor's swimming pool.
a special treat for them is a slice of bacon straight from the breakfast table. or some disgusting concoction of leftovers your mother has been adding to for days. this is her special "treat" for the precious puppy.
so anyway, i had a point here and it wasn't about dogs. oh yah, i am sick AS a DOG. there it is. my point. and two paragraphs later i am back.
i had the flu yesterday. the throwing up flu. more like the barfing flu. or the up chucking flu. whatever you like to call it will work. i just like to make sure that people know how bad it was and is. so forgive all of the descriptions.
yesterday i was so dead i could not walk or get out of bed except when i had to leap for the toilet before well, you know.
i think we have all had it before. the flu. no one really remembers how bad it is until they have it. and then they forget until the next time. i suppose that is a good thing. if we remembered how bad it was the time before we may all want to kill ourselves than have it again. i suppose that is how God protects the human race. morbid, i know:)
i am better today. not well, but better. did i mention that my 1 year old also has it, although not as bad. oh and my husband has it too. luckily he didn't have it yesterday when i was deathly ill. today he was "more" deathly ill than me so i watched the kids. sucks though. two sick parents and no one to take care of us.
oh to be 5 again. you know. the days when you "almost enjoyed" getting sick and your mom was there at every beckon call.
she rubbed your head and made you soup. gave you gatorade and saltine crackers. maybe she even had some special "trick" as to making you feel a bit better. like reading you a story, renting all of your favorite movies or giving you a popsicle or ice cream when your tummy could handle it. those were the days.
now as a parent i have to try to recreate all of those special "techniques" of how to care for my sick children. i actually kind of enjoy it though. i know, morbid again.
but only for a little while though, and only if i am not sick myself. so there are some "boundaries" here okay.? only on my terms.
i like taking care of my kids when they are not well because i feel like in some way i am more loving. i am able to show them how much i love them when they don't feel well. when they can't do anything for themselves, i am there. of course we all like that feeling of being needed. minus the throw up part.
so that's it. just felt like talkin' about dogs and throw up:)
anyway, growing up in the country i noticed that having a dog in the country is different than having one in "civilization." i mean, the city:) from my perspective, dogs that "grow up" in the city are part of the family. they live inside, have a special doggie bed. or even a special room, just for them. maybe they poop and pee in a special doggie toliet..perhaps i have gone to far. perhaps not. perhaps they wear adorable little outfits (gag reflex) or maybe they go to the "dainty doggie diner" , or the "bit o' biscuit bakery." at the least they go to the "pretty puppy palace." where they are groomed and treated as if they were at a day spa. but seriously, don't take me too seriously... because i really have no clue as to what i am talking about. okay, so i do. but i may be slightly of course:)
anyway. dogs in the country are more like dogs rather than people. i think they are less like family. more like "man's best friend." out to protect the household. scavenging the creatures that try to occupy the yard. the companion that goes hiking or camping or hunting or... maybe they sleep inside but they do not have their own room. they probably have a special blanket that someone left on the floor and never picked up but they most likely do not have a bed of their own. they do not go to the doggie bakery, or the doggie day spa or the doggie diner. they DO NOT have a doggie toliet. they pee and poo outside. they eat whatever they find, inside and out. they eat dog food too, but that is never as good as the rodents they find.
their only bath is when they jump in the river or your neighbor's swimming pool.
a special treat for them is a slice of bacon straight from the breakfast table. or some disgusting concoction of leftovers your mother has been adding to for days. this is her special "treat" for the precious puppy.
so anyway, i had a point here and it wasn't about dogs. oh yah, i am sick AS a DOG. there it is. my point. and two paragraphs later i am back.
i had the flu yesterday. the throwing up flu. more like the barfing flu. or the up chucking flu. whatever you like to call it will work. i just like to make sure that people know how bad it was and is. so forgive all of the descriptions.
yesterday i was so dead i could not walk or get out of bed except when i had to leap for the toilet before well, you know.
i think we have all had it before. the flu. no one really remembers how bad it is until they have it. and then they forget until the next time. i suppose that is a good thing. if we remembered how bad it was the time before we may all want to kill ourselves than have it again. i suppose that is how God protects the human race. morbid, i know:)
i am better today. not well, but better. did i mention that my 1 year old also has it, although not as bad. oh and my husband has it too. luckily he didn't have it yesterday when i was deathly ill. today he was "more" deathly ill than me so i watched the kids. sucks though. two sick parents and no one to take care of us.
oh to be 5 again. you know. the days when you "almost enjoyed" getting sick and your mom was there at every beckon call.
she rubbed your head and made you soup. gave you gatorade and saltine crackers. maybe she even had some special "trick" as to making you feel a bit better. like reading you a story, renting all of your favorite movies or giving you a popsicle or ice cream when your tummy could handle it. those were the days.
now as a parent i have to try to recreate all of those special "techniques" of how to care for my sick children. i actually kind of enjoy it though. i know, morbid again.
but only for a little while though, and only if i am not sick myself. so there are some "boundaries" here okay.? only on my terms.
i like taking care of my kids when they are not well because i feel like in some way i am more loving. i am able to show them how much i love them when they don't feel well. when they can't do anything for themselves, i am there. of course we all like that feeling of being needed. minus the throw up part.
so that's it. just felt like talkin' about dogs and throw up:)
Monday, September 13, 2010
Anxiety Is A Lousy Friend
He may come to you in the wee hours of the morning where you begin to think about the events of the day and the fact that you will be doing them alone.
Or perhaps he will show up in the afternoon when children are sleeping and it is "supposed" to be your time to relax too. The quietness is disturbed with racing thoughts of all that STILL needs to get done before the day is over.
If he hasn't shown up yet...and it would be a surprise if he hasn't! But just in case he hasn't. Wait for it...wait for it..poof, there he is in the middle of the night. Coming to sit on your chest so you feel heavy and like you are suffocating. then he will toss thoughts here and there in your head like a bouncy ball. Disturbing your most important time of the day to rest and be refreshed and ready for the next day.
He may show up at all of those times or possibly just one. OR he may show up a million more times through the day and night. I personally don't like uninvited guests who bring bad news. So he is not welcome at my house. Although he still shows up. I don't open the door to him. I keep all my doors and windows locked and I ignore the doorbell.
So seriously, how does this guy get in? Sneaky SOB.
If you happen to find yourself "entertaining" this unwanted guest here's a little "tip" from me:)
Tell him politely to leave...I mean DEMAND that he leave. Push his butt out the door and tell him to never return! "Wow, that was easy." you might think.
But this guy is a persistent little fellow. And if he...WHEN he does return, because he will. Do the same thing. Over and over and ...
"Do not be ANXIOUS about ANYTHING. But in EVERYTHING by prayer and petition WITH thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the PEACE of GOD which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Or perhaps he will show up in the afternoon when children are sleeping and it is "supposed" to be your time to relax too. The quietness is disturbed with racing thoughts of all that STILL needs to get done before the day is over.
If he hasn't shown up yet...and it would be a surprise if he hasn't! But just in case he hasn't. Wait for it...wait for it..poof, there he is in the middle of the night. Coming to sit on your chest so you feel heavy and like you are suffocating. then he will toss thoughts here and there in your head like a bouncy ball. Disturbing your most important time of the day to rest and be refreshed and ready for the next day.
He may show up at all of those times or possibly just one. OR he may show up a million more times through the day and night. I personally don't like uninvited guests who bring bad news. So he is not welcome at my house. Although he still shows up. I don't open the door to him. I keep all my doors and windows locked and I ignore the doorbell.
So seriously, how does this guy get in? Sneaky SOB.
If you happen to find yourself "entertaining" this unwanted guest here's a little "tip" from me:)
Tell him politely to leave...I mean DEMAND that he leave. Push his butt out the door and tell him to never return! "Wow, that was easy." you might think.
But this guy is a persistent little fellow. And if he...WHEN he does return, because he will. Do the same thing. Over and over and ...
"Do not be ANXIOUS about ANYTHING. But in EVERYTHING by prayer and petition WITH thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the PEACE of GOD which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Prayer for a Busy Day with Children
"Father thank you that I am a parent. I'm looking forward to this busy day that will be filled with the chatter and laughter of my children. MAY I CATCH THEIR ENTHUSIASM AND MAY THEIR INTERESTS INFECT MY OWN SPIRIT SO THAT I, TOO MAY HAVE A CHILDLIKE EAGERNESS FOR THE EVENTS OF THE DAY. Give us PATIENCE if the day grows long and tempers wear thin. MAY WE END THE DAY with EAGERNESS to spend ANOTHER day TOGETHER.
AMEN."
This is a great prayer for each day...for mothers. It is tough to pray at times because it is not always how I feel. Although I suppose that is WHY I am praying it! Because it is what I desire. It is what I ask the Lord to do in me and to work in my throughout the day. Am I always thankful to be a parent? Deep down, yes. I am always thankful for it. When times are tough I don't feel that way though. Do I want to have the eagerness of my children for each new day and do I want to always be interested in what they like? That often means that I have to sacrifice what I feel like doing or how I am feeling. Many times I would rather climb back in bed and let them watch a video or two, or three:) I have done it before when I am sick or when I am just completely exhausted. But on a daily basis that would be wrong...for me. If I give my children the time they need (which is often difficult) then they will be happier, more content and fulfilled and so will I. It's tough though. Some days I do better than others. Yesterday I did great. Today I am doing okay. Each day is different and it depends on the choices I choose to make on how I will treat them and what I choose to do. What I decide to sacrifice and what I decide to be selfish about.
Does the day often seem longer than others? APSOLUTELY! Do tempers wear thin? Duh. I think that is not necessary to comment on:)
Do I often have an eagerness for the next day? Most likely a day that will seem to be very similar to this day and the next day and the next. Yep. It's tough. I don't. Not always. Some days I'd rather do something else. And others I look forward to. Being a family and being together. Obviously it's not because I don't love my girls or because I don't enjoy time as a family. But because we all need a break. Especially stay at home moms who are with their kids 24/7.
Get a break and things seem much better. Your perspective is different. You see things for how they really are. And it is no longer just based on your emotions.
Good luck with this day my friends! May it be full of laughter and fun and love and peace. Patience and special moments. Excitement for the next day. And the day after that..and the next! Thank the Lord every day that you are a parent. Remember the joy it brings you and not just the pain:)
When we remain in THANKFULNESS we are able to be more content in our circumstances and in our life in general. BE THANKFUL!!!
Blessings and Love to you!
AMEN."
This is a great prayer for each day...for mothers. It is tough to pray at times because it is not always how I feel. Although I suppose that is WHY I am praying it! Because it is what I desire. It is what I ask the Lord to do in me and to work in my throughout the day. Am I always thankful to be a parent? Deep down, yes. I am always thankful for it. When times are tough I don't feel that way though. Do I want to have the eagerness of my children for each new day and do I want to always be interested in what they like? That often means that I have to sacrifice what I feel like doing or how I am feeling. Many times I would rather climb back in bed and let them watch a video or two, or three:) I have done it before when I am sick or when I am just completely exhausted. But on a daily basis that would be wrong...for me. If I give my children the time they need (which is often difficult) then they will be happier, more content and fulfilled and so will I. It's tough though. Some days I do better than others. Yesterday I did great. Today I am doing okay. Each day is different and it depends on the choices I choose to make on how I will treat them and what I choose to do. What I decide to sacrifice and what I decide to be selfish about.
Does the day often seem longer than others? APSOLUTELY! Do tempers wear thin? Duh. I think that is not necessary to comment on:)
Do I often have an eagerness for the next day? Most likely a day that will seem to be very similar to this day and the next day and the next. Yep. It's tough. I don't. Not always. Some days I'd rather do something else. And others I look forward to. Being a family and being together. Obviously it's not because I don't love my girls or because I don't enjoy time as a family. But because we all need a break. Especially stay at home moms who are with their kids 24/7.
Get a break and things seem much better. Your perspective is different. You see things for how they really are. And it is no longer just based on your emotions.
Good luck with this day my friends! May it be full of laughter and fun and love and peace. Patience and special moments. Excitement for the next day. And the day after that..and the next! Thank the Lord every day that you are a parent. Remember the joy it brings you and not just the pain:)
When we remain in THANKFULNESS we are able to be more content in our circumstances and in our life in general. BE THANKFUL!!!
Blessings and Love to you!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
hello!!!!!!!! i'm back.
hello everyone! okay, so i am obviously only saying "hello" to those who read my blog. whoever you fabulous people are. or if you even exist. i have no clue. oh, wait, my mom reads it. does that count? she is my biggest fan and always has been. she thinks i could practically be a stand up comedian. which of course i could be. but it just doesn't work with my schedule right now.
okay, so back to the "hello" part. hello, and yes i am still alive and back to the blogging world. will i stay here awhile? i don't know. it seems i am too busy these days to "blog it up." but of course by popular demand..okay my mom. i am back and as funny as ever:)
so here is what i did today, since i can't think of anything "interesting" to write about at the moment that's what i will share with you.
i always enjoy reading about "a day in the life of..." it is amusing.
so here it goes. hang on to your hats, it is terribly "exciting." :)
let's see...i was awakened by a child yelling my name. "mimi" was calling for me to wipe her poopy butt. totally NOT the kind of thing you want to wake up to. ick.
after the butt wiping i went to get the baby up and asked mimi if she would like to to play in the crib with her sister. she said yes. awesome! this is my new "trick." listen up moms, it is a good one. i put both the girls in the crib and they jump around some, strangle each other, read books and have a grand ol' time. so needless to say i was very excited to have some time to myself this morning, especially since i was "rudely" awakened by the smell of poo. oh, but it gets better. the smell of poo continues. so i go to get the baby and i notice small balls in the crib that look like peanut butter balls. nope, not peanut butter folks. then i go to pick her up and she is soaked with pee and it looks like she has no diaper on. so obviously the diapers i use which i generally think are fabulous have failed me. so there you have it. my plan was AGAIN rudely interrupted by...yep, you guessed it, poo. i tell you, this poo thing is getting old. luckily my husband woke up "just in time." he graciously picked up the poop balls all by himself. i didn't even ask. now there's a real man:) so, he too was awakened by the smell of poo, or should i say the "feel."
i suppose after that we did the breakfast thing. it is all such a blur that sometimes i don't even know what happens in the next few hours to follow. and i am not talking about today folks. everyday. it is exciting, or shold i say, exhilarating? probably just exciting since i can't spell the other. and again may i mention that i have always been a great "speller." it is something i pride myself on, when others cannot spell, what, why, who, where and when let alone say it. however something happened. i can't quite explain it but it must've come right about the same time that i lost my mind. yep, that's when it all happened. right after children. i am not embarrased about it because most moms i know have voiced the same thing. so basically there are a bunch of attractive, very put together, exausted, dummies running around after children:) please don't be affended. at least i said, "attractive."
so back to my "thrilling" life:) let's see. during the baby's 1st nap i made a wreath for the door. it is one that i was fixing from the last time i made it. i do that a lot. i make something and then i don"t like it or i don't have enough of what i am using to finish it. i have to say, i like it now. it is cute. it kind of looks like something in a magazine. like country home or something. like it should be in a beach cottage. except it isn't. it's hanging on a condo, not by the beach but in the bay area. but the door is worn, so i suppose it could look like it's at the beach. oh, and it is a condo so it "sounds" like it's at the beach too! super then. i'll just pretend.
did i mention that mimi made "crafts" alongside me? she loves to do that.
and i love it too. she is creative and we work alongside each other. plus it keeps her occupied.
then we ate lunch, we watched cartoons in the morning there somewhere while the girls ate breakfast. i managed to get my coffee and a z bar sometime in there as well.
we played somewhere in there too. then the girls went down for their nap around two. neither of them slept right away which is a little uncommon. well mimi doesn't sleep right away all the time. but the baby does. however they are "forced" to take naps by the "nap nazi." who is that? ohhhh, i don't know:) by the way, my good friend coined the term, "nap nazi" and i just stole it 'cause it's just too great.
during their nap time i ate something and then i ate something again and then i had hot tea and prayed and looked at cook books. mind you, cook books which i will probably never make anything from, since i don't "do" recipes. at least not very often. okay, so pretty much not at all. i just throw things together and they taste like heaven. ha, ha! no really, it's true:)
i decided to take a little nap while my husband read his book on the couch. if we want to nap when the girls do we have to use the couch since both the rooms are taken over by the girls. they can't nap together because they won't nap together. and then i am one NOT happy mommy. so they take over the room so i can have peace and a break. a little "give and take" i suppose. give up something to get something MUCH BETTER in return.
now i am writing my blog...duh. while my husband is feediing the baby and making a fabulous mess. but i won't complain sice i don't have to do it myself. he got her up and changed her poo too. enough poo for this mama today. so i am thankful for all the help i can get.
when mimi wakes up we will do something as a family. whatever that means. maybe have ice cream, or better yet fro yo! or maybe a walk or pull the girls in the wagon. or play outside or...?
so that's it. you have officially read "a day in the life...of the fabulously funny, seriously sensational, wonderfully wonderful...tara. :) hope you enjoyed the ride.
p.s. stay tuned for the next blog. which with my luck will come out right about next year. but trust me, it will be worth the wait:)
okay, so back to the "hello" part. hello, and yes i am still alive and back to the blogging world. will i stay here awhile? i don't know. it seems i am too busy these days to "blog it up." but of course by popular demand..okay my mom. i am back and as funny as ever:)
so here is what i did today, since i can't think of anything "interesting" to write about at the moment that's what i will share with you.
i always enjoy reading about "a day in the life of..." it is amusing.
so here it goes. hang on to your hats, it is terribly "exciting." :)
let's see...i was awakened by a child yelling my name. "mimi" was calling for me to wipe her poopy butt. totally NOT the kind of thing you want to wake up to. ick.
after the butt wiping i went to get the baby up and asked mimi if she would like to to play in the crib with her sister. she said yes. awesome! this is my new "trick." listen up moms, it is a good one. i put both the girls in the crib and they jump around some, strangle each other, read books and have a grand ol' time. so needless to say i was very excited to have some time to myself this morning, especially since i was "rudely" awakened by the smell of poo. oh, but it gets better. the smell of poo continues. so i go to get the baby and i notice small balls in the crib that look like peanut butter balls. nope, not peanut butter folks. then i go to pick her up and she is soaked with pee and it looks like she has no diaper on. so obviously the diapers i use which i generally think are fabulous have failed me. so there you have it. my plan was AGAIN rudely interrupted by...yep, you guessed it, poo. i tell you, this poo thing is getting old. luckily my husband woke up "just in time." he graciously picked up the poop balls all by himself. i didn't even ask. now there's a real man:) so, he too was awakened by the smell of poo, or should i say the "feel."
i suppose after that we did the breakfast thing. it is all such a blur that sometimes i don't even know what happens in the next few hours to follow. and i am not talking about today folks. everyday. it is exciting, or shold i say, exhilarating? probably just exciting since i can't spell the other. and again may i mention that i have always been a great "speller." it is something i pride myself on, when others cannot spell, what, why, who, where and when let alone say it. however something happened. i can't quite explain it but it must've come right about the same time that i lost my mind. yep, that's when it all happened. right after children. i am not embarrased about it because most moms i know have voiced the same thing. so basically there are a bunch of attractive, very put together, exausted, dummies running around after children:) please don't be affended. at least i said, "attractive."
so back to my "thrilling" life:) let's see. during the baby's 1st nap i made a wreath for the door. it is one that i was fixing from the last time i made it. i do that a lot. i make something and then i don"t like it or i don't have enough of what i am using to finish it. i have to say, i like it now. it is cute. it kind of looks like something in a magazine. like country home or something. like it should be in a beach cottage. except it isn't. it's hanging on a condo, not by the beach but in the bay area. but the door is worn, so i suppose it could look like it's at the beach. oh, and it is a condo so it "sounds" like it's at the beach too! super then. i'll just pretend.
did i mention that mimi made "crafts" alongside me? she loves to do that.
and i love it too. she is creative and we work alongside each other. plus it keeps her occupied.
then we ate lunch, we watched cartoons in the morning there somewhere while the girls ate breakfast. i managed to get my coffee and a z bar sometime in there as well.
we played somewhere in there too. then the girls went down for their nap around two. neither of them slept right away which is a little uncommon. well mimi doesn't sleep right away all the time. but the baby does. however they are "forced" to take naps by the "nap nazi." who is that? ohhhh, i don't know:) by the way, my good friend coined the term, "nap nazi" and i just stole it 'cause it's just too great.
during their nap time i ate something and then i ate something again and then i had hot tea and prayed and looked at cook books. mind you, cook books which i will probably never make anything from, since i don't "do" recipes. at least not very often. okay, so pretty much not at all. i just throw things together and they taste like heaven. ha, ha! no really, it's true:)
i decided to take a little nap while my husband read his book on the couch. if we want to nap when the girls do we have to use the couch since both the rooms are taken over by the girls. they can't nap together because they won't nap together. and then i am one NOT happy mommy. so they take over the room so i can have peace and a break. a little "give and take" i suppose. give up something to get something MUCH BETTER in return.
now i am writing my blog...duh. while my husband is feediing the baby and making a fabulous mess. but i won't complain sice i don't have to do it myself. he got her up and changed her poo too. enough poo for this mama today. so i am thankful for all the help i can get.
when mimi wakes up we will do something as a family. whatever that means. maybe have ice cream, or better yet fro yo! or maybe a walk or pull the girls in the wagon. or play outside or...?
so that's it. you have officially read "a day in the life...of the fabulously funny, seriously sensational, wonderfully wonderful...tara. :) hope you enjoyed the ride.
p.s. stay tuned for the next blog. which with my luck will come out right about next year. but trust me, it will be worth the wait:)
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
NO FEAR!
So, I am making this a really quick post. Well, I guess we'll see. I can't really write a short post, but I suppose I'll try! It is late and I need to sleep, so I am trying to keep my priorities straight.
Like I have mentioned before, we move a lot and there always seems to be some sort of change going on in our life. My husband is pursing a new career and there are a few options that he is in the process of.
As I have also mentioned before, I am a total worrier. However, for some AMAZING reason (it is called the Lord) I am not fearful of what is to come. It is an incredible feeling. I don't think about it constantly and even if I do I am not worrying about it I am just thinking about it. It's great! I don't know that I have ever felt this way when dealing with change....or at least not for a VERY long time.
I am also excited about what is to come. And although I have been saying for years that all I want to do is settle down where we are. I am now looking forward to whatever change is coming. Even if that requires moving...ahhh, I can't believe I just said that! Oh the craziness! I thought I never wanted to move again after this last time. After all it has been what, 8 or 9 moves in 7 and 1/2 years. WOW.
So, that is my short, but sweet post.
Whatever is to come, I have NMO FEAR baby!
I know the Lord has it in His hands and there is no reason for me to worry. What will it do to worry anyway? Just stress me out more and make my life unbearable. I will be angier and more anxious and unhappy.
Of course there will be spurts here and there where I know that I will be scared about things. Like when we figure out what is going to happen and where it will take us. But for the very most part I am not worrying.
Like I said before it is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY the LORD. His strength and His doing.
Just ask my husband.
"Therefore, do not worry about your life.." "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" "...Your heavenly father knows (what you need). But seek first His kingdom and His rightousness and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6:25,27,32-34
Like I have mentioned before, we move a lot and there always seems to be some sort of change going on in our life. My husband is pursing a new career and there are a few options that he is in the process of.
As I have also mentioned before, I am a total worrier. However, for some AMAZING reason (it is called the Lord) I am not fearful of what is to come. It is an incredible feeling. I don't think about it constantly and even if I do I am not worrying about it I am just thinking about it. It's great! I don't know that I have ever felt this way when dealing with change....or at least not for a VERY long time.
I am also excited about what is to come. And although I have been saying for years that all I want to do is settle down where we are. I am now looking forward to whatever change is coming. Even if that requires moving...ahhh, I can't believe I just said that! Oh the craziness! I thought I never wanted to move again after this last time. After all it has been what, 8 or 9 moves in 7 and 1/2 years. WOW.
So, that is my short, but sweet post.
Whatever is to come, I have NMO FEAR baby!
I know the Lord has it in His hands and there is no reason for me to worry. What will it do to worry anyway? Just stress me out more and make my life unbearable. I will be angier and more anxious and unhappy.
Of course there will be spurts here and there where I know that I will be scared about things. Like when we figure out what is going to happen and where it will take us. But for the very most part I am not worrying.
Like I said before it is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY the LORD. His strength and His doing.
Just ask my husband.
"Therefore, do not worry about your life.." "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" "...Your heavenly father knows (what you need). But seek first His kingdom and His rightousness and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6:25,27,32-34
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Thought For The Day
"The most important thing that should totally absorb our lives down here is the practice of real love. Why? Because love lasts. Love will be the only thing that matters in eternity." -Jill Brisco
"Please help me to slow down and recognize what is of little value so that I can invest in people with immense value."
What will you do today? Spend time on "meaningless" tasks or spend time with others, investing in their lives. Tasks need to get down, but when they become all that we do and all that we are we have lost sight of what is most important. Texting, emailing, blogging, facebook, etc. do not constitute in "spending time with others." Talking on the phone can, but truly spending one-on-one time face to face with someone is priceless.
How will you spend your day? Will you take time out for others? Will you forgot those who are most important to you? Will you focus on "what needs to get done" and plow over everyone who gets in your way?
I know I am feeling convicted!
Peace to you today. Love and Blessings. Strength to you as go about your day.
Invest in what matters.
"Please help me to slow down and recognize what is of little value so that I can invest in people with immense value."
What will you do today? Spend time on "meaningless" tasks or spend time with others, investing in their lives. Tasks need to get down, but when they become all that we do and all that we are we have lost sight of what is most important. Texting, emailing, blogging, facebook, etc. do not constitute in "spending time with others." Talking on the phone can, but truly spending one-on-one time face to face with someone is priceless.
How will you spend your day? Will you take time out for others? Will you forgot those who are most important to you? Will you focus on "what needs to get done" and plow over everyone who gets in your way?
I know I am feeling convicted!
Peace to you today. Love and Blessings. Strength to you as go about your day.
Invest in what matters.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Stuff Happens...
Life, Life, and all its' strife.
What do you do when you don't know
what to do?
You scream, you yell,
You cuss like hell.
And then you trust Jesus.
What do you do when you don't know
what to do?
You scream, you yell,
You cuss like hell.
And then you trust Jesus.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
About Me
Well, since this is MY blog, then I figure I can make it all about me:) Okay, not really. That is not my intention at all. But today I will just let you know a little bit about myself because I don't feel like discussing any of the major issues that are on my mind right now. So here is my more superficial post:)
1- I don't like superficial people. Sometimes I think I may appear to be one of those people, but I am not. I am fairly private, but I will also talk about pretty much anything.
2- I like coffee (who doesn't) But I am currently working my way down to only drinking decaf. It is all in the mind for me. I don't need caffeine, it doesn't do a whole for me anyway. Plus it is not my "drug of choice." Shopping is.
3- I like shopping. I mean I love shopping. Not as much as I used to, but still a lot.
I like bargain shopping, I am pretty cheap when it comes to most things and I am proud of it. Especially when people compliment me and they have no idea what I steal I got. Oh wait, they usually do because I tell them. I can't keep it inside!
4- I am an over protector and proud of it. My dad "lovingly" passed it on to me:)
I used to think he was way too protective and now I see that I am just like him in this area. Like when I am in public I feel like I have to keep an eye on other peoples' children. I am also the "private investigator" and keep an eye out for any "suspicious" behavior. I am pretty sure that I don't know anyone else quite like me. And that is okay. I am not in control of everything. But I suppose I will try to be:)
5- I like funny. I like funny shows on t.v., not stupid ones, just funny ones. I do feel like they are few and far between though. I also like to "be funny." And if someone doesn't really "get" me then I don't like them. Just kidding. Sort of:) My daughter makes me laugh. I say it is because she gets her wonderful sense of humor from me:) She keeps me laughing all day and I love it so much!
6- I like sweets. A little too much. But I am picky about what I like and what I'll eat. It has to be good. In most cased I don't eat birthday cake. Especially store bought ones. No offense to anyone, but I personally think that most times they are totally disgusting. If I don't have cake at a party people will comment and say," Wow, you're good, watching your wait and all." Nope, that's really not it at all. If I like it, I'll eat it, believe me. It's just that I don't like it. I don't eat to make others happy:)
7- I research almost everything these days. With my fabulous computer skills:) I can find out anything and everything. And that is pretty much what I do. From good deals, to finding felons in my area. From info on food to checking out houses in places I look forward to living in someday.
8- I am a chameleon. And I hope this is how you spell it. What I mean by this is that I adapt to wherever I live. Oh and I have lived! Lots of places. I like to adapt to where I live. It is fun. I usually adapt my style in one sense or another to fit where I am living. Like what I wear and what my house looks like. I like to change it up so I don't get bored. Plus I feel like I am really embracing the place where I live.
9- I love design and decorating. I find that when I am out (anywhere) I am looking at things in a different way than perhaps some people. I admire how things are built, the way things are put together, the uniqueness of certain areas. I like to pick apart things and see how they could be better. With my help of course:)
I see the beauty in the less attractive. People, houses, etc. And how they could stand out and live up to their full potential.
I love that sort of challenge.
10- Sort of a continuation of the previous one...I am creative and somewhat artistic.
I tell the photographer what I want and ignore her comment when she says my idea won't work. And then "poof" it looks amazing. I think I am creative. I use "junk" or ordinary things and make them into decor or something fabulous;) I like painting and crafts. I am fairly crafty but I can't really paint worth anything. I like photography although I don't know much, I usually think I do:)
I love music. I like to sing, although I am VERY mediocre. I like to write music too. Okay, only the words, not usually the actual music. My husband can do that.
I like to write. Hence the blog.
11- As you may be able to tell from the previous post. I think highly of myself in particular areas:) But I am just telling it like it is...hee hee.
I don't think highly of myself in all areas so I am pretty sure I am not a complete jerk. There is a difference between unhealthy pride and embracing your strengths and talents. I hope I live out the latter.
12- I am an entrepener. Even though I can't spell it. I have always wanted to start a business. Ever since I was a kid it has been a dream. It has ranged from having a resterant (which I guess I can't spell either.) To being an interior designer to having a flower shop. I am sure there have been more. I just can't keep up with myself and all of my "fabulous" ideas:0
13- I like white. White is fresh. White makes me feel clean and crisp and happy. It makes me think of the beach and houses in fancy magazines that look amazing. White is classic. White sheets, white towels, white curtains, white cabneits, you get the point.
14- I am a worrier. I also get this from my dad...and my grandma, and who knows who else. Of course I try not to and I say verses and I pray and I try to "chill" and not freak out, but it is oh so hard. Sometimes I say I have to worry, I can't help it. But I suppose I can. It is just "way" harder than I'd like it to be!
15- I have a lot of opinions. Even though I may not seem like I do. I do. I don't have time to go into them!
16- Most days I don't wear make up. Oh wait, here is one of my opinions. Wouldn't it be grand if no one wore make up? I think so. We would just be ourselves. You probably think, "oh gross, we would look terrible!' But that is only because we can't imagine it because our culture has made it what it is today. We are into covering ourselves up so much. There are actually people in this world that look like two completely different people. When they wake up and then when they leave the house. I am not one of these people. I think I pretty much look the same all the time. Sometimes a little better, sometimes a little worse, but never really shockingly different. Okay, so I know for POSITIVE that the world would NEVER go in this direction because we are all about being "perfect." So in that case, I am not planning on being "ugly" (as our culture might think.) I will only do "ugly" most days. But on those "special" days I will be like everyone else:)
p.S. I definitely appreciate how make up enhances our natural beauty though. So I am just full of contradictions here!
17- I only need about 2-3 really good friends. I don't think I can handle too many more. It's not that I don't want more. It's just that having close friends takes a lot of effort...for me any way. I like to have frequent "playdates" with them and our children. I like to talk to them and tell them everything. Or at least a lot of stuff. I think I am a pretty good listener and I like my friends to be too. It show that they care when they pay attention or remember things. I like getting to know people though, I am enjoying park playdates recently and I like chatting with other moms when I am out or when I am church. I just like to have less superficial conversations and more deep ones. Although I always love a good chat about shopping, design and clothes:)
18- I am really anal about certain things and other things I could really care less about. I like my silverware drawer to be in a certain order. I also don't like stuff to be on most of my counter tops, although there is usually one where all the crap is collected. And although it drives me crazy, it rarely gets cleaned off.
Other things I am not so particular about. Sometimes I just throw the clothes in the drawer instead of folding them. I fold certain things, but others are fine just to be thrown:)
I don't like my curtains or blinds closed during the day time. It makes me crazy. I do however need them to be closed at night.
I also don't like T.V. watching during the day time. I think it is a waste of time. Especially on beautiful days. HOWEVER, since becoming a mom I have been MUCH LESS anal about this one. The girls watch T.V. during the day and I occasionally watch something while eating lunch during their nap time. I especially HATE when people have the T.V. on ALL day long.
19- I don't like when people are inpatient in public. Like at the store. Yes, we are all in a hurry. Yes, we all someplace to be. We are all in a hurry all the time these days. So stop stomping your foot and huffing and puffing and giving the cashiers dirty looks. It doesn't make the time go by any faster.
20- I am not a very affectionate person. If I know someone is "hugger" then I will hug them if they hug me first. But I don't hug most of my friends.
I was never super affectionate with my family growing up. Although I think they still knew that I loved them:) I am very affectionate with my kids and my husband though. I suppose that is pretty normal though. I think that I am a loving person though. Although outwardly I may not show it as much. I still care a lot.
Well, I was just going to do a "top 10" or something like that but I kind of got carried away.
Oh yes...one more thing. I totally hate when people don't spell correctly and yet I have many misspellings in this blog! Go figure.
1- I don't like superficial people. Sometimes I think I may appear to be one of those people, but I am not. I am fairly private, but I will also talk about pretty much anything.
2- I like coffee (who doesn't) But I am currently working my way down to only drinking decaf. It is all in the mind for me. I don't need caffeine, it doesn't do a whole for me anyway. Plus it is not my "drug of choice." Shopping is.
3- I like shopping. I mean I love shopping. Not as much as I used to, but still a lot.
I like bargain shopping, I am pretty cheap when it comes to most things and I am proud of it. Especially when people compliment me and they have no idea what I steal I got. Oh wait, they usually do because I tell them. I can't keep it inside!
4- I am an over protector and proud of it. My dad "lovingly" passed it on to me:)
I used to think he was way too protective and now I see that I am just like him in this area. Like when I am in public I feel like I have to keep an eye on other peoples' children. I am also the "private investigator" and keep an eye out for any "suspicious" behavior. I am pretty sure that I don't know anyone else quite like me. And that is okay. I am not in control of everything. But I suppose I will try to be:)
5- I like funny. I like funny shows on t.v., not stupid ones, just funny ones. I do feel like they are few and far between though. I also like to "be funny." And if someone doesn't really "get" me then I don't like them. Just kidding. Sort of:) My daughter makes me laugh. I say it is because she gets her wonderful sense of humor from me:) She keeps me laughing all day and I love it so much!
6- I like sweets. A little too much. But I am picky about what I like and what I'll eat. It has to be good. In most cased I don't eat birthday cake. Especially store bought ones. No offense to anyone, but I personally think that most times they are totally disgusting. If I don't have cake at a party people will comment and say," Wow, you're good, watching your wait and all." Nope, that's really not it at all. If I like it, I'll eat it, believe me. It's just that I don't like it. I don't eat to make others happy:)
7- I research almost everything these days. With my fabulous computer skills:) I can find out anything and everything. And that is pretty much what I do. From good deals, to finding felons in my area. From info on food to checking out houses in places I look forward to living in someday.
8- I am a chameleon. And I hope this is how you spell it. What I mean by this is that I adapt to wherever I live. Oh and I have lived! Lots of places. I like to adapt to where I live. It is fun. I usually adapt my style in one sense or another to fit where I am living. Like what I wear and what my house looks like. I like to change it up so I don't get bored. Plus I feel like I am really embracing the place where I live.
9- I love design and decorating. I find that when I am out (anywhere) I am looking at things in a different way than perhaps some people. I admire how things are built, the way things are put together, the uniqueness of certain areas. I like to pick apart things and see how they could be better. With my help of course:)
I see the beauty in the less attractive. People, houses, etc. And how they could stand out and live up to their full potential.
I love that sort of challenge.
10- Sort of a continuation of the previous one...I am creative and somewhat artistic.
I tell the photographer what I want and ignore her comment when she says my idea won't work. And then "poof" it looks amazing. I think I am creative. I use "junk" or ordinary things and make them into decor or something fabulous;) I like painting and crafts. I am fairly crafty but I can't really paint worth anything. I like photography although I don't know much, I usually think I do:)
I love music. I like to sing, although I am VERY mediocre. I like to write music too. Okay, only the words, not usually the actual music. My husband can do that.
I like to write. Hence the blog.
11- As you may be able to tell from the previous post. I think highly of myself in particular areas:) But I am just telling it like it is...hee hee.
I don't think highly of myself in all areas so I am pretty sure I am not a complete jerk. There is a difference between unhealthy pride and embracing your strengths and talents. I hope I live out the latter.
12- I am an entrepener. Even though I can't spell it. I have always wanted to start a business. Ever since I was a kid it has been a dream. It has ranged from having a resterant (which I guess I can't spell either.) To being an interior designer to having a flower shop. I am sure there have been more. I just can't keep up with myself and all of my "fabulous" ideas:0
13- I like white. White is fresh. White makes me feel clean and crisp and happy. It makes me think of the beach and houses in fancy magazines that look amazing. White is classic. White sheets, white towels, white curtains, white cabneits, you get the point.
14- I am a worrier. I also get this from my dad...and my grandma, and who knows who else. Of course I try not to and I say verses and I pray and I try to "chill" and not freak out, but it is oh so hard. Sometimes I say I have to worry, I can't help it. But I suppose I can. It is just "way" harder than I'd like it to be!
15- I have a lot of opinions. Even though I may not seem like I do. I do. I don't have time to go into them!
16- Most days I don't wear make up. Oh wait, here is one of my opinions. Wouldn't it be grand if no one wore make up? I think so. We would just be ourselves. You probably think, "oh gross, we would look terrible!' But that is only because we can't imagine it because our culture has made it what it is today. We are into covering ourselves up so much. There are actually people in this world that look like two completely different people. When they wake up and then when they leave the house. I am not one of these people. I think I pretty much look the same all the time. Sometimes a little better, sometimes a little worse, but never really shockingly different. Okay, so I know for POSITIVE that the world would NEVER go in this direction because we are all about being "perfect." So in that case, I am not planning on being "ugly" (as our culture might think.) I will only do "ugly" most days. But on those "special" days I will be like everyone else:)
p.S. I definitely appreciate how make up enhances our natural beauty though. So I am just full of contradictions here!
17- I only need about 2-3 really good friends. I don't think I can handle too many more. It's not that I don't want more. It's just that having close friends takes a lot of effort...for me any way. I like to have frequent "playdates" with them and our children. I like to talk to them and tell them everything. Or at least a lot of stuff. I think I am a pretty good listener and I like my friends to be too. It show that they care when they pay attention or remember things. I like getting to know people though, I am enjoying park playdates recently and I like chatting with other moms when I am out or when I am church. I just like to have less superficial conversations and more deep ones. Although I always love a good chat about shopping, design and clothes:)
18- I am really anal about certain things and other things I could really care less about. I like my silverware drawer to be in a certain order. I also don't like stuff to be on most of my counter tops, although there is usually one where all the crap is collected. And although it drives me crazy, it rarely gets cleaned off.
Other things I am not so particular about. Sometimes I just throw the clothes in the drawer instead of folding them. I fold certain things, but others are fine just to be thrown:)
I don't like my curtains or blinds closed during the day time. It makes me crazy. I do however need them to be closed at night.
I also don't like T.V. watching during the day time. I think it is a waste of time. Especially on beautiful days. HOWEVER, since becoming a mom I have been MUCH LESS anal about this one. The girls watch T.V. during the day and I occasionally watch something while eating lunch during their nap time. I especially HATE when people have the T.V. on ALL day long.
19- I don't like when people are inpatient in public. Like at the store. Yes, we are all in a hurry. Yes, we all someplace to be. We are all in a hurry all the time these days. So stop stomping your foot and huffing and puffing and giving the cashiers dirty looks. It doesn't make the time go by any faster.
20- I am not a very affectionate person. If I know someone is "hugger" then I will hug them if they hug me first. But I don't hug most of my friends.
I was never super affectionate with my family growing up. Although I think they still knew that I loved them:) I am very affectionate with my kids and my husband though. I suppose that is pretty normal though. I think that I am a loving person though. Although outwardly I may not show it as much. I still care a lot.
Well, I was just going to do a "top 10" or something like that but I kind of got carried away.
Oh yes...one more thing. I totally hate when people don't spell correctly and yet I have many misspellings in this blog! Go figure.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Oh Procrastination...
This week it has been BEAUTIFUL! Saturday we went swimming. Sunday after church we had a picnic and then went swimming again. Monday we were at the park and today we were at the park again. It is windy today, but still beautiful.
Summer days lure me outside. They call me to come and play. To sit in the sun. To play at the park. To go swimming. To go for a walk. Just to be outside and soak up the sun.
Now that is has FINALLY become summer I worry that I may be lured outside too much. For some reason now that I have two kids I seem to be going out more than when I had one. I think when I had one it was easier to stay home and do stuff around the house and there was more break time to just hang out. Not a lot, but some.
Maybe now that I have two I realize that I won't really be getting much done anyway so I might as well go out and do something fun!
I don't know if anything around my house will ever get accomplished this summer. It has only been 3 or so days of beautiful weather and my house is already a disaster because I have already let it go to "pot."
But I suppose I shouldn't blame it merely on the weather. I tend to do this sort of thing any way. It always seems to be a mess no matter how much picking up I do. I guess it is just worse during the summer months.
Well, I suppose I will just enjoy the weather and try not to stress too much about the house and all of its' chores. Although I may be folding the mound of laundry and doing the dishes right after I am done writing...wait, did I hear something? Oh, it was procrastination whispering in my ear. He said I could just wait until tomorrow. Or even the next day if I want to:)
Summer days lure me outside. They call me to come and play. To sit in the sun. To play at the park. To go swimming. To go for a walk. Just to be outside and soak up the sun.
Now that is has FINALLY become summer I worry that I may be lured outside too much. For some reason now that I have two kids I seem to be going out more than when I had one. I think when I had one it was easier to stay home and do stuff around the house and there was more break time to just hang out. Not a lot, but some.
Maybe now that I have two I realize that I won't really be getting much done anyway so I might as well go out and do something fun!
I don't know if anything around my house will ever get accomplished this summer. It has only been 3 or so days of beautiful weather and my house is already a disaster because I have already let it go to "pot."
But I suppose I shouldn't blame it merely on the weather. I tend to do this sort of thing any way. It always seems to be a mess no matter how much picking up I do. I guess it is just worse during the summer months.
Well, I suppose I will just enjoy the weather and try not to stress too much about the house and all of its' chores. Although I may be folding the mound of laundry and doing the dishes right after I am done writing...wait, did I hear something? Oh, it was procrastination whispering in my ear. He said I could just wait until tomorrow. Or even the next day if I want to:)
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
20 minutes
Tomorrow I am having an MRI. I am not excited about it by any means, although I am relived...but still a little worried too. I hit my head about a week ago and have been feeling worse since then. I just want to make sure I don't have brain damage or anything:) No, seriously.
Anyway, I was thinking about the "being in a confined space part of it" and how I am not excited about it. I remember the last time I had one, a few years ago, I just kept repeating the same phrase over and over in my head. Something about the Lord protecting me. It definitely helped and I will most likely be doing the same thing tomorrow.
So, back to the confined space part. They said it would take about 20 minutes. 20 minutes? Wow, that seems like a long time to lay still. At least for a stay at home mom who pretty much never sits down. Not even to eat. I live my life standing up. Except in the morning when I first get up. I try to sit for as long as I possibly can...although that is usually only for a few minutes. And then when I am at the computer. And then when I go to the bathroom....okay, sorry, I've gone too far.
So, I've decided to look at it as a little "vacay." 20 minutes of being alone, 20 minutes of peace and quiet, 20 minutes of time to think or pray or whatever, 20 minutes to rest my mind and body.
So, I leave you with this. Look at the things in your life differently. The things that you are not excited about or the mundane daily tasks, the things that bring you worry. Look at them in a different light. Maybe somehow, some way you can find some joy in them. Maybe you will even enjoy them. Maybe it will feel like a "vacay", maybe not. But it's worth a try.
P.S. I won't be writing any new posts tomorrow. I'll be on vacation;)
Anyway, I was thinking about the "being in a confined space part of it" and how I am not excited about it. I remember the last time I had one, a few years ago, I just kept repeating the same phrase over and over in my head. Something about the Lord protecting me. It definitely helped and I will most likely be doing the same thing tomorrow.
So, back to the confined space part. They said it would take about 20 minutes. 20 minutes? Wow, that seems like a long time to lay still. At least for a stay at home mom who pretty much never sits down. Not even to eat. I live my life standing up. Except in the morning when I first get up. I try to sit for as long as I possibly can...although that is usually only for a few minutes. And then when I am at the computer. And then when I go to the bathroom....okay, sorry, I've gone too far.
So, I've decided to look at it as a little "vacay." 20 minutes of being alone, 20 minutes of peace and quiet, 20 minutes of time to think or pray or whatever, 20 minutes to rest my mind and body.
So, I leave you with this. Look at the things in your life differently. The things that you are not excited about or the mundane daily tasks, the things that bring you worry. Look at them in a different light. Maybe somehow, some way you can find some joy in them. Maybe you will even enjoy them. Maybe it will feel like a "vacay", maybe not. But it's worth a try.
P.S. I won't be writing any new posts tomorrow. I'll be on vacation;)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
On Raising Kids and FInding Wisdom to Do So!
Raising kids is hard. Wonderful, exciting, fulfilling, challenging and exhausting...just to name a few.
Of course I could go on and on about what I think about raising kids and what to do and what not to do and all of my strong opinions and things I have figured out and things I haven't figured out. But that is not what I am doing here. I am leaving you with
one of my favorite proverbs. I love proverbs, especially the ones in the book of Proverbs in the Bible. Because the Bible is not just a bunch of nice words or sugary thoughts that make you feel good. The Word of God is soul searching, life changing, life giving and full of hope.
There are so many of the proverbs that I LOVE, it is hard to only share a few, but maybe I will add to it later. Or you can read them for yourself, they are awesome.
So let these proverbs speak to you as you gain wisdom from them and practical advice. Encouragement as you take on the hardest task known to man....raising little human beings.
"My son (or daughter or anyone!) do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.
Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine."PROVERBS 3:1-10
"There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to Him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that sled innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.
My son (or daughter) keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching, Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you. For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way of life." PROVERBS 6:16-23
"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise."
Proverbs 10:19
"When pride come, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
Proverbs 11:2
"A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man (or woman!) keeps a secret."
Proverbs 11:13
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion."
Proverbs 11:22
"One who gives freely, yet gains even more; another witholds unduly, but comes to poverty."
"A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed."
Proverbs 11:24-25
"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."
Proverbs 14:30
"He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm."
Proverbs 13:20
"Discipline your son (or daughter) and he ( or she) will give you peace. he ( or she) will bring delight to your soul."
Proverbs 29:17
"Discipline your son (or daughter) for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his (or her) death." (spiritual and/or physical death or trouble)
Proverbs 19:18
Okay, so I went a little over board I suppose. I only meant to share a few of my favorites. Which I did. These are only a few! I have so many more! But not enough time! Plus, who wants to read a 40 page blog?
So take these proverbs and gain wisdom from them. Apply them to your heart, search for understanding and gain guidance. So whether you read these for your self and apply them or teach them to you children. Take the Word of God and allow it to speak to you and guide you and give you strength as you go about your job. Your busy job being a provider, a cleaning lady, a seamstress, a Dr., a taxi driver, a teacher (just to name a few!)....a mother.
"(YOU) are clothed with STRENGTH and DIGNITY; YOU can LAUGH at the days to come. YOU speak with WISDOM and FAITHFUL instruction is on your tongue.
"...YOUR children arise and call you BLESSED; and your husband also, and he PRAISES you. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
"...Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting; BUT a WOMAN WHO FEARS THE LORD IS TO BE PRAISED."
PROVERBS 31:25-30
Of course I could go on and on about what I think about raising kids and what to do and what not to do and all of my strong opinions and things I have figured out and things I haven't figured out. But that is not what I am doing here. I am leaving you with
one of my favorite proverbs. I love proverbs, especially the ones in the book of Proverbs in the Bible. Because the Bible is not just a bunch of nice words or sugary thoughts that make you feel good. The Word of God is soul searching, life changing, life giving and full of hope.
There are so many of the proverbs that I LOVE, it is hard to only share a few, but maybe I will add to it later. Or you can read them for yourself, they are awesome.
So let these proverbs speak to you as you gain wisdom from them and practical advice. Encouragement as you take on the hardest task known to man....raising little human beings.
"My son (or daughter or anyone!) do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.
Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine."PROVERBS 3:1-10
"There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to Him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that sled innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.
My son (or daughter) keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching, Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you. For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way of life." PROVERBS 6:16-23
"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise."
Proverbs 10:19
"When pride come, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
Proverbs 11:2
"A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man (or woman!) keeps a secret."
Proverbs 11:13
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion."
Proverbs 11:22
"One who gives freely, yet gains even more; another witholds unduly, but comes to poverty."
"A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed."
Proverbs 11:24-25
"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."
Proverbs 14:30
"He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm."
Proverbs 13:20
"Discipline your son (or daughter) and he ( or she) will give you peace. he ( or she) will bring delight to your soul."
Proverbs 29:17
"Discipline your son (or daughter) for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his (or her) death." (spiritual and/or physical death or trouble)
Proverbs 19:18
Okay, so I went a little over board I suppose. I only meant to share a few of my favorites. Which I did. These are only a few! I have so many more! But not enough time! Plus, who wants to read a 40 page blog?
So take these proverbs and gain wisdom from them. Apply them to your heart, search for understanding and gain guidance. So whether you read these for your self and apply them or teach them to you children. Take the Word of God and allow it to speak to you and guide you and give you strength as you go about your job. Your busy job being a provider, a cleaning lady, a seamstress, a Dr., a taxi driver, a teacher (just to name a few!)....a mother.
"(YOU) are clothed with STRENGTH and DIGNITY; YOU can LAUGH at the days to come. YOU speak with WISDOM and FAITHFUL instruction is on your tongue.
"...YOUR children arise and call you BLESSED; and your husband also, and he PRAISES you. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
"...Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting; BUT a WOMAN WHO FEARS THE LORD IS TO BE PRAISED."
PROVERBS 31:25-30
Monday, May 17, 2010
Love Hurts?
Something that happened today made me think....Yep, did some thinkin' today...so that's always good:)
All of a sudden the baby started crying. Which is a bit unusual because she truly is the most remarkable baby EVER. She doesn't cry much. No really, she doesn't and this cry was out of the ordinary. I looked over and noticed she was lying face first on the ground. Big sister Mila was right there, looking a bit guilty. Although, she was not too concerned because her eyes were glued to the T.V.
I said, "Mila what did you do to Aria?" "I pushed her." "Why did you push her?"
"Because I love her."
Um, okay. Weird response. I was totally NOT expecting that. And I didn't really know what to think about it except it was hilarious and weird and totally wrong all at the same time. Of course I "dealt" with the situation, but I was still wondering why she said what she said.
I still don't know why she responded that way and I doubt I ever will. Ask a three year old "WHY" and you never know what you are going to hear.
It is however a funny little "happening" that I will be writing in her baby book....maybe both of the babies' books!
So, I started thinking....yep, there I go again.
Sometimes we do or say hurtful things to the people we love the most. Maybe we mean it, but maybe we don't. Either way, we often hurt those who are closest to us and those we love the most.
Why? I don't know. Maybe because we feel like we can take things out on them because we know they will still love us. Or maybe because they are the people who are always with us and they just end up getting the brunt of things.
It's sad though. The people we love the most are the people we should treat with the most love and the upmost respect.
We always put on our "happy" little face or the "perfect" little show for outsiders to see. So they think we are wonderful and amazing and loving and all of that.
But then we "let er' rip" (no, not like that:) For those who are closest to us. We're just ourselves....honest, real and yes, sometimes just plain mean and nasty.
I honestly don't think my daughter had a clue why she said this. Like I said, her eyes were glued to the T.V. and I think she just responded with whatever came to her head. She often tells Aria that she loves her, so I suppose it was a common response, although it made no sense in that situation.
I am choosing to believe that Mila did not truly mean any harm to her sister by pushing her. She didn't do it with an evil gleam in her eye and then her response was weird to say the least. Of course she was wrong and like I said before the situation was dealt with.
I suppose it is just a prime example of how we treat others. Now I am not talking about physical abuse here or anything. (Although I suppose that would be an extreme example.) I am talking about the day-to-day "riff raff" that we cause. You know. The mean comments to our husbands when they leave their clothes on the floor. The "evil eye" or rolling of the eyes when we think they have done something completely stupid. Or the disrespect we show them when we are just in a bad mood and they are the closest ones in proximity so they get to hear about it. Or when we yell at our kids because we are irritated with something or are feeling impatient, although they have done nothing wrong. I am quite guilty of that today. And I feel really bad about it now after writing about it. I didn't even know it was going to "come up" as I was writing, but well, that's how sin is. It will surface...eventually.
So ask for forgiveness from the Father who forgives and who sends our transgressions far, far away. To the place where He won't go back. To the place where He will not return to pick them up and hold them against us. They are gone. Forever. We are forgiven.
So forgive others as Christ Jesus your Lord has forgiven you. And love one another as He has loved you. And treat each other as you would like to be treated.
Love should heal, and trust and show patience and kindness and gentleness....
So, really...Love should not "hurt."
It just seemed like an appropriate title:)
All of a sudden the baby started crying. Which is a bit unusual because she truly is the most remarkable baby EVER. She doesn't cry much. No really, she doesn't and this cry was out of the ordinary. I looked over and noticed she was lying face first on the ground. Big sister Mila was right there, looking a bit guilty. Although, she was not too concerned because her eyes were glued to the T.V.
I said, "Mila what did you do to Aria?" "I pushed her." "Why did you push her?"
"Because I love her."
Um, okay. Weird response. I was totally NOT expecting that. And I didn't really know what to think about it except it was hilarious and weird and totally wrong all at the same time. Of course I "dealt" with the situation, but I was still wondering why she said what she said.
I still don't know why she responded that way and I doubt I ever will. Ask a three year old "WHY" and you never know what you are going to hear.
It is however a funny little "happening" that I will be writing in her baby book....maybe both of the babies' books!
So, I started thinking....yep, there I go again.
Sometimes we do or say hurtful things to the people we love the most. Maybe we mean it, but maybe we don't. Either way, we often hurt those who are closest to us and those we love the most.
Why? I don't know. Maybe because we feel like we can take things out on them because we know they will still love us. Or maybe because they are the people who are always with us and they just end up getting the brunt of things.
It's sad though. The people we love the most are the people we should treat with the most love and the upmost respect.
We always put on our "happy" little face or the "perfect" little show for outsiders to see. So they think we are wonderful and amazing and loving and all of that.
But then we "let er' rip" (no, not like that:) For those who are closest to us. We're just ourselves....honest, real and yes, sometimes just plain mean and nasty.
I honestly don't think my daughter had a clue why she said this. Like I said, her eyes were glued to the T.V. and I think she just responded with whatever came to her head. She often tells Aria that she loves her, so I suppose it was a common response, although it made no sense in that situation.
I am choosing to believe that Mila did not truly mean any harm to her sister by pushing her. She didn't do it with an evil gleam in her eye and then her response was weird to say the least. Of course she was wrong and like I said before the situation was dealt with.
I suppose it is just a prime example of how we treat others. Now I am not talking about physical abuse here or anything. (Although I suppose that would be an extreme example.) I am talking about the day-to-day "riff raff" that we cause. You know. The mean comments to our husbands when they leave their clothes on the floor. The "evil eye" or rolling of the eyes when we think they have done something completely stupid. Or the disrespect we show them when we are just in a bad mood and they are the closest ones in proximity so they get to hear about it. Or when we yell at our kids because we are irritated with something or are feeling impatient, although they have done nothing wrong. I am quite guilty of that today. And I feel really bad about it now after writing about it. I didn't even know it was going to "come up" as I was writing, but well, that's how sin is. It will surface...eventually.
So ask for forgiveness from the Father who forgives and who sends our transgressions far, far away. To the place where He won't go back. To the place where He will not return to pick them up and hold them against us. They are gone. Forever. We are forgiven.
So forgive others as Christ Jesus your Lord has forgiven you. And love one another as He has loved you. And treat each other as you would like to be treated.
Love should heal, and trust and show patience and kindness and gentleness....
So, really...Love should not "hurt."
It just seemed like an appropriate title:)
Monday, May 10, 2010
The LONG Way Around
I heard a country song the other day....okay most days because I just LOVE country music! Not some of that new stuff that they "call" country music. Some of it is waaay too "poppy." Not that I don't like pop, I do. But when I want to listen to country, well, that's what I want to hear.
Anyway, back to my point. I think it was the Dixie Chicks (yes, those controversial "chicks") But I think it is an older song that they redid. Anyway, the lyrics that make up most of the chorus are: Takin' the long way around. Yep, that's it. Just a few words that really got me. Mainly because that is how I feel like my life has been. At least for the last eight or so years.
I had somewhat of a plan for my life and well, life happened! And of course, not how I had expected. Isn't life funny like that? Okay, so sometimes it's NOT funny at all. It's annoying, it's disappointing, it frustrating, it's...need I go on?
The plans of a man's heart are many, but it is the Lord's will that prevails. That is somewhere in the Psalms. And isn't it SO true?
But in the end God truly knows what is best for us. Sure, we don't think of it at the time. Perhaps we will never come to realize it. But He truly knows best. Even in the most troubling of circumstances.
You see all I really ever wanted out of life (besides my wonderful Godly husband and my precious children) was to find a place we could settle down. A place we loved, a place where we had community and could live our life. All in all, I was looking for stability.
I never thought that was too much to ask. After all that's what MOST people do, right? Wrong. I don't know the percentage of people who settle down right away and have a house with a picket fence and the whole shabang, but I know it is not everyone and maybe it is not even MOST people either. Although I really have no clue. I am just speculating. Anyway, my point is, throughout the years and the moves. (we have lived in 8 different places since we have been married. Two of them being with family and one of them moving back to the same area. Oh yes, and one out of state.) Hmmm...is that all? Yes, I think that is PLENTY thank you very much:)
Anyway, through it I have learned a lot of things and some of them I am still learning and no I am not happy about it:) Because learning is hard sometimes, a lot of times. Most times. And it requires us to really focus and sometimes make changes. Oh yes, change, that was one of my "points" too. I don't really like change. I mean maybe a little bit. Like changing around the decor in my house, that's fun. And changing my clothes, yes that is necessary and sometimes fun. And changing the sheets on your bed, yes, that's good too. Fresh sheets are delightful. But what about those changes that are not so fun or delightful.
Yep. I can think if A LOT of them. Because I have been through them. Like changing the baby's diaper at 2am when all you want to do is sleep and you wake up in the morning to find that you have not only been sleeping in the bed with your husband but also with that lovely diaper. Gross. That is not a nice "change."
What about living somewhere for 4 years and making friends and finally loving your house because your husband remodeled the terrible kitchen and bath (and I mean TERRIBLE) And now it is AMAZING. What about finding out that your husband was laid off AND you are pregnant (with your second child) all in the SAME week! Yah, that is a crazy change. What about leaving two jobs in ministry because they were not the places they said they were. And you were mislead and mistreated. And no said they were sorry for the damage they caused in your spirit, your heart, and in your family.
Nope I would say none of that sounds like good change to me. Sounds like difficult change and LAME change and NOT SO FUN change...need I go on?
These are some of the few changes that have happened in the last 8 or so years of my life. And there are more. Some huge ones and some smaller...but all difficult. Not easy to bear to say the least.
Through it all and like I said I am still learning and I KNOW there will be MORE change, perhaps sooner than later. Although I don't want it. It will probably be better in the long run. But it is hard to look at the "long run" when all you really care about right now is the "SHORT RUN!" The "what is happening now", "the present"
"today" and maybe "tomorrow" but no further than that thank you very much.
Oh, how I wish I were done learning in this area. I wish I didn't have to think about the next time we might move or the next house I have to decorate and the next church we will attend or the next friends I have to make. I don't want to! But I will.
Because that is what I do. That is what WE do. "WE" as in all of us. We "roll with the punches" , We "stick it out", We "hang in there." All sayings you have probably heard from your mother and hated. (the sayings, not your mother.)
Because we don't know what the Lord has in store for us. We pray, we seek His will, and then, well, we pretty much wait to see what happens.
I know that all of the "craziness" in my life will make sense someday. Now, I might be in heaven by then, but either way I think I will find out. And I look forward to that day, whether it be in heaven or on earth. "OH, so THAT'S why my life was like that!" "WOW, God you are AMAZING, I never would have thought of that."
All in all my life is about glorifying the Lord and worshiping HIM. So whether I am here or there or everywhere, I want to glorify Him. I want to encourage others no matter what I am going through. I think God uses us MOST when we are vulnerable and authentic. In fact, I think that is the ONLY way that the Lord can use us. Let's be real and not act like we have it all together, because we don't. And if there is someone that you think does, well, I suggest spying on them so you can find out that they DON'T! Just kidding. (about the spying part...that might be illegal or something.)
So, "hang in there" if you are going through something tough. Most likely you are or you will in the future. Life is about change like that.
A wise woman I worked with in church said, "God is your constant." Things around you will change and you might move or have a change in profession. But in the end "God is your constant." He will NEVER change. He will always be with you. In front of you to lead you, behind you to protect you and beside you to comfort you.
So I will hold on to this....GOD IS MY CONSTANT, He is YOUR CONSTANT. I (we) need to hold on to that because it is the only way I will make it as I'm "takin' the LONG way around."
Anyway, back to my point. I think it was the Dixie Chicks (yes, those controversial "chicks") But I think it is an older song that they redid. Anyway, the lyrics that make up most of the chorus are: Takin' the long way around. Yep, that's it. Just a few words that really got me. Mainly because that is how I feel like my life has been. At least for the last eight or so years.
I had somewhat of a plan for my life and well, life happened! And of course, not how I had expected. Isn't life funny like that? Okay, so sometimes it's NOT funny at all. It's annoying, it's disappointing, it frustrating, it's...need I go on?
The plans of a man's heart are many, but it is the Lord's will that prevails. That is somewhere in the Psalms. And isn't it SO true?
But in the end God truly knows what is best for us. Sure, we don't think of it at the time. Perhaps we will never come to realize it. But He truly knows best. Even in the most troubling of circumstances.
You see all I really ever wanted out of life (besides my wonderful Godly husband and my precious children) was to find a place we could settle down. A place we loved, a place where we had community and could live our life. All in all, I was looking for stability.
I never thought that was too much to ask. After all that's what MOST people do, right? Wrong. I don't know the percentage of people who settle down right away and have a house with a picket fence and the whole shabang, but I know it is not everyone and maybe it is not even MOST people either. Although I really have no clue. I am just speculating. Anyway, my point is, throughout the years and the moves. (we have lived in 8 different places since we have been married. Two of them being with family and one of them moving back to the same area. Oh yes, and one out of state.) Hmmm...is that all? Yes, I think that is PLENTY thank you very much:)
Anyway, through it I have learned a lot of things and some of them I am still learning and no I am not happy about it:) Because learning is hard sometimes, a lot of times. Most times. And it requires us to really focus and sometimes make changes. Oh yes, change, that was one of my "points" too. I don't really like change. I mean maybe a little bit. Like changing around the decor in my house, that's fun. And changing my clothes, yes that is necessary and sometimes fun. And changing the sheets on your bed, yes, that's good too. Fresh sheets are delightful. But what about those changes that are not so fun or delightful.
Yep. I can think if A LOT of them. Because I have been through them. Like changing the baby's diaper at 2am when all you want to do is sleep and you wake up in the morning to find that you have not only been sleeping in the bed with your husband but also with that lovely diaper. Gross. That is not a nice "change."
What about living somewhere for 4 years and making friends and finally loving your house because your husband remodeled the terrible kitchen and bath (and I mean TERRIBLE) And now it is AMAZING. What about finding out that your husband was laid off AND you are pregnant (with your second child) all in the SAME week! Yah, that is a crazy change. What about leaving two jobs in ministry because they were not the places they said they were. And you were mislead and mistreated. And no said they were sorry for the damage they caused in your spirit, your heart, and in your family.
Nope I would say none of that sounds like good change to me. Sounds like difficult change and LAME change and NOT SO FUN change...need I go on?
These are some of the few changes that have happened in the last 8 or so years of my life. And there are more. Some huge ones and some smaller...but all difficult. Not easy to bear to say the least.
Through it all and like I said I am still learning and I KNOW there will be MORE change, perhaps sooner than later. Although I don't want it. It will probably be better in the long run. But it is hard to look at the "long run" when all you really care about right now is the "SHORT RUN!" The "what is happening now", "the present"
"today" and maybe "tomorrow" but no further than that thank you very much.
Oh, how I wish I were done learning in this area. I wish I didn't have to think about the next time we might move or the next house I have to decorate and the next church we will attend or the next friends I have to make. I don't want to! But I will.
Because that is what I do. That is what WE do. "WE" as in all of us. We "roll with the punches" , We "stick it out", We "hang in there." All sayings you have probably heard from your mother and hated. (the sayings, not your mother.)
Because we don't know what the Lord has in store for us. We pray, we seek His will, and then, well, we pretty much wait to see what happens.
I know that all of the "craziness" in my life will make sense someday. Now, I might be in heaven by then, but either way I think I will find out. And I look forward to that day, whether it be in heaven or on earth. "OH, so THAT'S why my life was like that!" "WOW, God you are AMAZING, I never would have thought of that."
All in all my life is about glorifying the Lord and worshiping HIM. So whether I am here or there or everywhere, I want to glorify Him. I want to encourage others no matter what I am going through. I think God uses us MOST when we are vulnerable and authentic. In fact, I think that is the ONLY way that the Lord can use us. Let's be real and not act like we have it all together, because we don't. And if there is someone that you think does, well, I suggest spying on them so you can find out that they DON'T! Just kidding. (about the spying part...that might be illegal or something.)
So, "hang in there" if you are going through something tough. Most likely you are or you will in the future. Life is about change like that.
A wise woman I worked with in church said, "God is your constant." Things around you will change and you might move or have a change in profession. But in the end "God is your constant." He will NEVER change. He will always be with you. In front of you to lead you, behind you to protect you and beside you to comfort you.
So I will hold on to this....GOD IS MY CONSTANT, He is YOUR CONSTANT. I (we) need to hold on to that because it is the only way I will make it as I'm "takin' the LONG way around."
Monday, May 3, 2010
What is Right....
The other day I was at the store with my 3 year old and I bought three items and headed for the car. At the check out counter I realized that I must have gotten a sweet deal because I ended up paying only about four dollars! Wow, how did I manage that?
At the car I looked at my receipt and realized that I was only charged for two of my three items. Of course I was irritated because that meant I had to do one of two things. Leave, knowing that I got a "sweet" deal, but knowing that I didn't come by it honestly. Or I could go back inside and pay for the item. Which meant I had to get my daughter out of the car, again, and find a new parking spot.
I pulled out and saw that there was a spot right in front of the store...shoot. That meant I really had to go back. It made it easier to go, but I was still irritated.
I jumped out of the car, leaving my daughter in the car because I could see from the store window and I knew it would be a short trip inside. I know, I know, I shouldn't have left her in there, so please don't scold me:)
I went back, told the lady and payed for the item. She was astonished that I came back to pay. And she thanked me and said that most people would not have been so honest. It was nice that she noticed, but it's not like she announced it over the intercom or anything. Maybe that is the "thanks" I should've gotten. No such luck:)
I left feeling grateful that I "did the right thing." But just doing the right thing was not what I felt good about. I started to think about why I felt the way I did. I don't care about the store or if they lose money or the fact that the lady made a mistake. No that isn't why I did it. It's not the end of the world if they lose a couple bucks, right? Especially to me, I need the "sweet" deal.
Confetti did not come from the sky as I left the store. The manager didn't stop me to say, "Thank you for being so honest. You are amazing. In fact, I'll give you your money back and you can have the items for free." Nope, didn't happen.
I wasn't really looking for this type of "thanks" but I guess it would've been nice. You see I have gone back to several stores for the same reason. They forgot to charge me for something and me, having to be so darn honest has to go back and pay so I don't feel guilty. Sometimes the employees said nothing to me. No "thanks." No, "I'm sorry for making you haul your crew back inside because I made a mistake." Nothing.
I realized that just "doing the right thing" didn't seem like "enough."
Doing the right thing is great, don't get me wrong. But I realized that behind the "doing the right thing" there was something a little deeper.
I try to do the right thing because I know it honors God. I am being obedient to Him when I obey the law and when I am honest or tell the truth. I honor Him when I do things for others. Like I said, I didn't really care about the store or the fact that they might lose a little money..so shoot me. What I was grateful for was that God was honored with what I did.
I didn't receive any accolades for the small thing I did. No one gave me an extra brownie point. What I did get was the, "not feeling guilty" feeling, which is good. But I knew that God was pleased with me because I was obedient, because in a very small way I honored Him.
I don't expect to receive a crown in heaven for this sort of thing...but then again, who knows:)
What I did receive was joy, knowing that I had honored the Lord. It was a small thing for me to do, but it was big to God.
"Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."
Matthew 25:40
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will."
Romans 12:2
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people..."
Galatians 6:9-10
"Live as children of the light, (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness [doing what is right] and truth.) And find out what pleases the Lord."
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men...It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
Colossians 3:23-24
At the car I looked at my receipt and realized that I was only charged for two of my three items. Of course I was irritated because that meant I had to do one of two things. Leave, knowing that I got a "sweet" deal, but knowing that I didn't come by it honestly. Or I could go back inside and pay for the item. Which meant I had to get my daughter out of the car, again, and find a new parking spot.
I pulled out and saw that there was a spot right in front of the store...shoot. That meant I really had to go back. It made it easier to go, but I was still irritated.
I jumped out of the car, leaving my daughter in the car because I could see from the store window and I knew it would be a short trip inside. I know, I know, I shouldn't have left her in there, so please don't scold me:)
I went back, told the lady and payed for the item. She was astonished that I came back to pay. And she thanked me and said that most people would not have been so honest. It was nice that she noticed, but it's not like she announced it over the intercom or anything. Maybe that is the "thanks" I should've gotten. No such luck:)
I left feeling grateful that I "did the right thing." But just doing the right thing was not what I felt good about. I started to think about why I felt the way I did. I don't care about the store or if they lose money or the fact that the lady made a mistake. No that isn't why I did it. It's not the end of the world if they lose a couple bucks, right? Especially to me, I need the "sweet" deal.
Confetti did not come from the sky as I left the store. The manager didn't stop me to say, "Thank you for being so honest. You are amazing. In fact, I'll give you your money back and you can have the items for free." Nope, didn't happen.
I wasn't really looking for this type of "thanks" but I guess it would've been nice. You see I have gone back to several stores for the same reason. They forgot to charge me for something and me, having to be so darn honest has to go back and pay so I don't feel guilty. Sometimes the employees said nothing to me. No "thanks." No, "I'm sorry for making you haul your crew back inside because I made a mistake." Nothing.
I realized that just "doing the right thing" didn't seem like "enough."
Doing the right thing is great, don't get me wrong. But I realized that behind the "doing the right thing" there was something a little deeper.
I try to do the right thing because I know it honors God. I am being obedient to Him when I obey the law and when I am honest or tell the truth. I honor Him when I do things for others. Like I said, I didn't really care about the store or the fact that they might lose a little money..so shoot me. What I was grateful for was that God was honored with what I did.
I didn't receive any accolades for the small thing I did. No one gave me an extra brownie point. What I did get was the, "not feeling guilty" feeling, which is good. But I knew that God was pleased with me because I was obedient, because in a very small way I honored Him.
I don't expect to receive a crown in heaven for this sort of thing...but then again, who knows:)
What I did receive was joy, knowing that I had honored the Lord. It was a small thing for me to do, but it was big to God.
"Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."
Matthew 25:40
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will."
Romans 12:2
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people..."
Galatians 6:9-10
"Live as children of the light, (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness [doing what is right] and truth.) And find out what pleases the Lord."
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men...It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
Colossians 3:23-24
Saturday, May 1, 2010
When I Am Weak...
Carry my burdens,
For I am weak and they are too heavy for me.
Give me patience,
Because I am too weak to wait on your timing.
Guide me in your truth,
For in my weakness I do not know the way in which I should go.
Fill me with your love,
Because I am too weak to reach out to others.
Stay close by my side Lord,
For I am too weak to make the journey alone.
"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am WEAK, then I am STRONG."
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
For I am weak and they are too heavy for me.
Give me patience,
Because I am too weak to wait on your timing.
Guide me in your truth,
For in my weakness I do not know the way in which I should go.
Fill me with your love,
Because I am too weak to reach out to others.
Stay close by my side Lord,
For I am too weak to make the journey alone.
"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am WEAK, then I am STRONG."
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Encouraging Words...
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11-13
"...but He blessed the home of the righteous."
Proverbs 3:33b
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."
Psalm 91:1
"For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you do not strike your foot against a stone."
Proverbs 91:11-12
"No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame."
Psalm 25:3
'You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."
Psalm 16:11
"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight."
Hebrews 4:13
"Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5b
"The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."
James 5:11b
"Come near to God and He will come near to you."
James 4:8
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light."
1 Peter 2:9
"...do not fear what they fear."
1 Peter 3:14
"The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."
1 John 2:17
"This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him."
1 John 4:9
Matthew 11:28-30
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11-13
"...but He blessed the home of the righteous."
Proverbs 3:33b
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."
Psalm 91:1
"For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you do not strike your foot against a stone."
Proverbs 91:11-12
"No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame."
Psalm 25:3
'You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."
Psalm 16:11
"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight."
Hebrews 4:13
"Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5b
"The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."
James 5:11b
"Come near to God and He will come near to you."
James 4:8
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light."
1 Peter 2:9
"...do not fear what they fear."
1 Peter 3:14
"The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."
1 John 2:17
"This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him."
1 John 4:9
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Rants and Raves...
I am so annoyed with the lady who waited for me to unload my HUGE cart full of Costco groceries and put my two children in their car seats. She just sat there with her blinker on. And I was in no rush. I took my time. Because I have too. Because it takes forever. But it still stressed me out knowing she was there waiting. Um, yah, can you find another spot? Oh look there's one right across from me! What the heck?
After I was about to leave she pulled into another spot. Come to find out, she was also a mom and she was trying to decide whether or not to make the Costco Trek with her sleepy toddler. She is a mother of four and I am a jerk. Sorry lady.
I don't like the fact that where I live teenagers have nicer cars than I do. I mean much nicer cars. Why is a 16 year old driving a Range Rover? Totally wrong on so many levels.
I am annoyed with people when they see that you have two small children AND you look like you are losing your mind and they don't move an inch. Like when they are walking or pushing a shopping cart. In fact they take the right of way, when they should be helping. The other day I was trying to open a very heavy door while pushing a stroller and helping my 3 year old. I was leaving the Dr.'s Office and no one budged. I didn't look back, because I couldn't, but I felt like yelling, "Hey, could we get a little help over here?" Maybe I am asking too much.
I am annoyed when I come back from the grocery store and something I bought is moldy or has been opened or is rotten. It is often not worth going back...especially with my entourage:)
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, FORGIVING each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32
After I was about to leave she pulled into another spot. Come to find out, she was also a mom and she was trying to decide whether or not to make the Costco Trek with her sleepy toddler. She is a mother of four and I am a jerk. Sorry lady.
I don't like the fact that where I live teenagers have nicer cars than I do. I mean much nicer cars. Why is a 16 year old driving a Range Rover? Totally wrong on so many levels.
I am annoyed with people when they see that you have two small children AND you look like you are losing your mind and they don't move an inch. Like when they are walking or pushing a shopping cart. In fact they take the right of way, when they should be helping. The other day I was trying to open a very heavy door while pushing a stroller and helping my 3 year old. I was leaving the Dr.'s Office and no one budged. I didn't look back, because I couldn't, but I felt like yelling, "Hey, could we get a little help over here?" Maybe I am asking too much.
I am annoyed when I come back from the grocery store and something I bought is moldy or has been opened or is rotten. It is often not worth going back...especially with my entourage:)
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, FORGIVING each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32
Monday, April 12, 2010
Aria Zoe
Yesterday I was having a rough day....a really rough one. One of those emotional mom days. The kind that make you feel like you are going insane. The kind that make you want to run away from life. My husband, who is wonderful by the way, took Mila out so I could have some alone time while the baby was sleeping. However, just as they were leaving and I was sitting down to have my alone time....the baby woke up! AAAAHHH! Can't a mother get a break? Can't she get a "moment??" I went to pick her up out of the crib and I started bawling. I sat down with her and I just cried and cried. Of course I didn't want her to see me cry, because for some reason we think that if our kids see us cry we will no longer be "super mom" to them anymore. Well the kid would not look away from me, she was staring me right in the face.
Usually they say around 7 months a baby who hears another person cry will out of sympathy also start crying. Not so...at least for my daughter. Or at least not in this particular instance. She started laughing...at me! I thought maybe she was just smiling at first, but no, it was a laugh. And she kept on laughing! Of course I am thinking, "Come on now. What is this all about? I need a little sympathy here." Why are you laughing? This is SO not funny." But it took me only a few seconds to start smiling and then a few more to start laughing myself.
This is exactly what I needed. Joy.
This was a gift. A gift from the Lord, who knows exactly what I need and when I need it. Sometimes even I don't know what I need, but He does. I didn't want to laugh at that moment. I wanted to cry. I wanted someone to sympathize. And He did.
Aria Zoe is her name and she is the most precious, mellow, happy and content baby in the universe...I am convinced:) Her name means, "breath of life." or "song of life." And that is exactly what she is to me.
Usually they say around 7 months a baby who hears another person cry will out of sympathy also start crying. Not so...at least for my daughter. Or at least not in this particular instance. She started laughing...at me! I thought maybe she was just smiling at first, but no, it was a laugh. And she kept on laughing! Of course I am thinking, "Come on now. What is this all about? I need a little sympathy here." Why are you laughing? This is SO not funny." But it took me only a few seconds to start smiling and then a few more to start laughing myself.
This is exactly what I needed. Joy.
This was a gift. A gift from the Lord, who knows exactly what I need and when I need it. Sometimes even I don't know what I need, but He does. I didn't want to laugh at that moment. I wanted to cry. I wanted someone to sympathize. And He did.
Aria Zoe is her name and she is the most precious, mellow, happy and content baby in the universe...I am convinced:) Her name means, "breath of life." or "song of life." And that is exactly what she is to me.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Interruptions as Opportunities
I am reading a book called, "Real Moms...Real Jesus." It came in the mail the other day from my mom. I love getting things in the mail and my mom has great taste, so she usually knows the things I like. I have already read a few chapters and have gained some insight from reading. Something that the writer, Jill Savage, said really struck me. She said that we should look at the interruptions in our lives as opportunities. She is mainly speaking to mothers in this book, but I believe it is true for all of us. Of course, I have thought about this sort of thing before but for some reason it struck me differently when I read it this time. Maybe because I feel my life is a bit of an "interruption" lately. It seems like everybody needs me and I am never alone and there is always an interruption waiting to..., well..., interrupt me!
If it is not a person then it is a thing and if it is not a thing it is a person! Something is always in need of my attention and it is exhausting. But you already know that if you are a mother, or even just a human being. It is just worse if you are a mother, much worse.
But, IF...and that is a BIG IF! If I can possibly take a moment to see these interruptions as opportunities, well, then I am a hero! "Super Hero Mom for a Day!" Because it's tough...really tough. If I can look at my precious children the way the Lord sees them and serve them and care for them out of HIS love, then I am doing exactly what I need to be doing. Being a mother. A loving, self-sacrificing mother who sees what is most important. And that is to be: caring, loving, forgiving, protecting, teaching and raising these little miracles that I have been blessed with. And if I look at my husband the way the Lord does and care for him out of God's love, then I am being the wife I need to be. The cheesy, but true..."What would Jesus do?" means a little more to me after reading this. Because really, what did Jesus do all day long? He didn't sit around and worry about His life, He probably didn't do a whole lot of shopping either. I wonder if He ever cleaned House? Wait, I don't think He ever had a house of His own...HEY, maybe that is the way to go! I'm up for that! No house work! My point is...He did what was most important. He spent His days loving and serving others. And as hard as it may be, that is what I need to strive to do. So I will try, and there will be times that I will fail and then there will be some times that I succeed. And then there will be times when I don't even know what day it is. So serving others will probably not be a priority for me. I will just be trying to survive the day. BUT on those lovely and amazing days that I do succeed, well friends, I will hold on to those days! I will praise the Lord for His help and I will be grateful for those days. And I will pray for more.
If it is not a person then it is a thing and if it is not a thing it is a person! Something is always in need of my attention and it is exhausting. But you already know that if you are a mother, or even just a human being. It is just worse if you are a mother, much worse.
But, IF...and that is a BIG IF! If I can possibly take a moment to see these interruptions as opportunities, well, then I am a hero! "Super Hero Mom for a Day!" Because it's tough...really tough. If I can look at my precious children the way the Lord sees them and serve them and care for them out of HIS love, then I am doing exactly what I need to be doing. Being a mother. A loving, self-sacrificing mother who sees what is most important. And that is to be: caring, loving, forgiving, protecting, teaching and raising these little miracles that I have been blessed with. And if I look at my husband the way the Lord does and care for him out of God's love, then I am being the wife I need to be. The cheesy, but true..."What would Jesus do?" means a little more to me after reading this. Because really, what did Jesus do all day long? He didn't sit around and worry about His life, He probably didn't do a whole lot of shopping either. I wonder if He ever cleaned House? Wait, I don't think He ever had a house of His own...HEY, maybe that is the way to go! I'm up for that! No house work! My point is...He did what was most important. He spent His days loving and serving others. And as hard as it may be, that is what I need to strive to do. So I will try, and there will be times that I will fail and then there will be some times that I succeed. And then there will be times when I don't even know what day it is. So serving others will probably not be a priority for me. I will just be trying to survive the day. BUT on those lovely and amazing days that I do succeed, well friends, I will hold on to those days! I will praise the Lord for His help and I will be grateful for those days. And I will pray for more.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
A Moment in Time
You know those moments where everything is "perfect?" Okay, so when I am talking about a "moment" that is truly what I mean. A moment in time...it lasts minutes, these days it feels like only seconds. You look around and think, "Hey, this life isn't too bad, in fact it's wonderful!" You sit back and take a deep breath and just as you are offering up your thanks, the moment is gone. Just like that. Someone is screaming in the background. Someone needs to eat...again. Someone needs your help in the bathroom. Someone needs their diaper changed....again. Someone needs dinner, and a bath and, well you get the picture. And that, my friends is why it is called a "moment." A brief piece of time. Not lasting too long....or at least not as long as you would like it to in this case.
So, enjoy those "moments", give thanks (quickly) and look forward to the next one. Sometimes they are the only things that get us through.
P.S. I had one of those "moments" today...it was wonderful, surreal, all 3 minutes of it:)
So, enjoy those "moments", give thanks (quickly) and look forward to the next one. Sometimes they are the only things that get us through.
P.S. I had one of those "moments" today...it was wonderful, surreal, all 3 minutes of it:)
The Sweetest Things...
...watching Mila, my three year old feed Baby Aria little rice puffs. In between waiting for the baby to "chew" Mila would dance around and as soon as she noticed the baby was ready for another one she would stuff another in her mouth. She is such a little helper these days, sometimes she is really helpful to me and other times she just makes more work for me...but either way she is learning to help others.
...Mila playing in her room singing her songs, with not a care in the world.
...Aria's ear to ear smile.
...My husband's prayers for me and our girls.
...The kind of worship song that makes you want to fall to your knees and weep....I am listening to one right now!
...A beautiful sunny day spent outdoors.
...Fresh flowers.
...A good cup of coffee...heck any coffee at all...must have cream!
...My bed.
...Naps....for everyone:)
...Country music.
...Mila saying, "I can't help but smile!"
...Good friends. Real friends.
...Humor.
...God's unfailing love.
...A self-sacrificing spouse.
...The Farmer's Market.
...Dancing.
...Bargain hunting.
...My family....yes, all of you:)
...Mila playing in her room singing her songs, with not a care in the world.
...Aria's ear to ear smile.
...My husband's prayers for me and our girls.
...The kind of worship song that makes you want to fall to your knees and weep....I am listening to one right now!
...A beautiful sunny day spent outdoors.
...Fresh flowers.
...A good cup of coffee...heck any coffee at all...must have cream!
...My bed.
...Naps....for everyone:)
...Country music.
...Mila saying, "I can't help but smile!"
...Good friends. Real friends.
...Humor.
...God's unfailing love.
...A self-sacrificing spouse.
...The Farmer's Market.
...Dancing.
...Bargain hunting.
...My family....yes, all of you:)
Monday, March 29, 2010
Because Food Matters
In my day to day life I am far to busy to eat. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I don't eat. What I am saying is that I eat here and there (standing up of course) in between the 10 meals that my children have a day. It is not because I forget to eat...how could I? Like I said, between the 10 or so meals my children have a day food is ALWAYS on the brain around here! So back to my "point." What I mean is the concept of sitting down and ENJOYING a nice tasty, healthy meal that really satisfies is really not an option. Throughout the day I find myself looking for whatever is easiest and hopefully the most healthy option. However, this of course does not always happen. Whatever is easiest usually takes preference. I am ashamed of some of my choices, but at least I am honest about it:)
So, I try to buy organic and I am totally into whole grains and flaxseed and all of that. It is tough though. Because of my super bargain shopping "skills" sometimes I find myself having an inner argument in the grocery store. "Do I buy this because it is organic?" "This is better for us, but it costs more....hmmm." "Is this REALLY better for us and is it worth the price?" What is a mother to do?
Because health is very important....but finances unfortunately play their part too. So I do the best I can. Our cupboard currently contains a multi grain cereal with flaxseed and soy, and then there are the dry lentil beans, organic raisins and natural popcorn. Um, and somehow I just spotted some cotton candy....uh, how did that get in there? Oh yah, it's Mila's fault. Right, because my three year old goes to the store now to buy things. Okay, yep, it was me. Guilty. I bought it for her and she has luckily forgotten about it. Unfortunately for me, my sweet tooth has not.
So, like I said before. I do the best I can, like any good mother. I stuff my child full of whole grains and organic fruits and veggies and then I let her run wild after devouring cotton candy.
So back to my saga. I eat because I must. I eat to live, I do not live to eat. Yes, there are those few meals out or those that I make at home that I really do enjoy and that really satisfy, but they are few and far between. For now I enjoy my several cups of coffee with cream, a few cupcakes here and there and here and there:) And maybe a little chocolate too. Did I mention chocolate? I always try to keep that on the menu:)
And so I eat to live, I eat to survive the crazy day, I eat so that I do not pass out. I eat because I want to be healthy and strong and live a long life. If there were more time perhaps I would enjoy it a little more. So although I am too busy, I do what I can to stuff my face....because food matters.
So, I try to buy organic and I am totally into whole grains and flaxseed and all of that. It is tough though. Because of my super bargain shopping "skills" sometimes I find myself having an inner argument in the grocery store. "Do I buy this because it is organic?" "This is better for us, but it costs more....hmmm." "Is this REALLY better for us and is it worth the price?" What is a mother to do?
Because health is very important....but finances unfortunately play their part too. So I do the best I can. Our cupboard currently contains a multi grain cereal with flaxseed and soy, and then there are the dry lentil beans, organic raisins and natural popcorn. Um, and somehow I just spotted some cotton candy....uh, how did that get in there? Oh yah, it's Mila's fault. Right, because my three year old goes to the store now to buy things. Okay, yep, it was me. Guilty. I bought it for her and she has luckily forgotten about it. Unfortunately for me, my sweet tooth has not.
So, like I said before. I do the best I can, like any good mother. I stuff my child full of whole grains and organic fruits and veggies and then I let her run wild after devouring cotton candy.
So back to my saga. I eat because I must. I eat to live, I do not live to eat. Yes, there are those few meals out or those that I make at home that I really do enjoy and that really satisfy, but they are few and far between. For now I enjoy my several cups of coffee with cream, a few cupcakes here and there and here and there:) And maybe a little chocolate too. Did I mention chocolate? I always try to keep that on the menu:)
And so I eat to live, I eat to survive the crazy day, I eat so that I do not pass out. I eat because I want to be healthy and strong and live a long life. If there were more time perhaps I would enjoy it a little more. So although I am too busy, I do what I can to stuff my face....because food matters.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Life As A Mom
Some days I feel like all I ever do is wipe butts. Cute butts none the less, BUT they are still BUTTS:) The worst is what I call an "early morning wipe." Right before I've had my coffee or right after....the LAST thing I feel like doing is wiping someone's butt. Now when I say "someone" you must know I am talking about my two precious non butt wiping daughters. The baby is 7 months, and oh how the time has flown by! With all of the transition in our lives lately I feel like I just woke up one morning and she was 7 months. My how the time flies when you are busy being a mother. My other little sweetie is 3 1/2 years, so surely she must be able to wipe her own butt....no such luck. She can but she doesn't like to and if we are not careful when she actually does do it, well let's just say the job doesn't get done quite right.
So perhaps there will be a day when I miss wiping butts. At this point I feel it is highly unlikely, but perhaps someday.
So perhaps there will be a day when I miss wiping butts. At this point I feel it is highly unlikely, but perhaps someday.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
The First One.
I've finally done it! Hooray, my very own blog! I love the fact that I can write to my heart's content and if people feel like reading it then, well, super. And if they don't, I don't really care (okay, so maybe I care a little:) But I just really love getting down all of my thoughts and kooky ideas on paper or in this case computer. On the other hand, I am not in love with technology. So the road to this blog may be a little rocky for me as I figure out how to make it look and read exactly like I want. Maybe it is because I am not very good at figuring out how to use all of the new crazy gadgets, but mainly it is because I really don't care much. In the words of Shania Twain, "That don't impress me much." Okay, so it impresses me a little...but just not enough.
So this is a pretty sorry start to my first blog, but I will get better...I promise. Don't give up on me now, I've only just begun!
So this is a pretty sorry start to my first blog, but I will get better...I promise. Don't give up on me now, I've only just begun!
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